Quotes from Hugh Grant movies and TV shows - page 2 of 4

Alex Fletcher: I've a strange situation here.
Chris Riley: Oh, you've got a strange situation? I'm at Beth's soccer game with my ex-wife who's here with my ex-gardener. They came on a riding mower.

Alex Fletcher: Just a little bit louder, because this song is intended for humans, okay? Way Back Into Love, take two.

Alex Fletcher: You're Cole Porter in panties. Of course, having said that, Cole Porter probably did wear panties.

Sophie Fisher: Are you OK?
Alex Fletcher: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. It's just my Pop! hip. It comes from years of doing our patented dance move. My God, I've suffered for my art.

Alex Fletcher: You don't think that going to a party and telling the hostess that she simultaneously destroyed two musical cultures is rude? I'm enrolling you at the nearest charm school.

Sophie Fisher: The worst part is, he still has some power over me. I still care what he thinks.
Alex Fletcher: I'm sorry, but how - how can that possibly be? The guy is a jerk.
Sophie Fisher: Well, that's easy for you to say, but.
Alex Fletcher: No, no. He is a jerk! He is a jerk. It's not a question. He is a jerk.
Sophie Fisher: But.
Alex Fletcher: No, he is! He's a jerk! He's a jerk.

Chris Riley: Alright, it's my fault and I hate myself for it, but I'm not upset, and do you know why?
Alex Fletcher: You've been at my liquor?

Alex Fletcher: Theoretically, I could pick you up because I will be taking a cab.
Sophie Fisher: I could be standing outside at 9:40 in bright orange clothes, so you wouldn't miss me.
Alex Fletcher: Oh good, you'll get some road work done while you wait, then.

Alex Fletcher: People wait their whole lives to see an ex when things are going really good. It never happens. You could make relationship history.

Alex Fletcher: I have great insight. I'd use it on myself only I don't have any problems.

Alex Fletcher: The thing that really hurts is my upper gum. I think I may have impaled myself on a dinner roll. It's a very good thing they didn't have bread sticks. I could have lost an eye.

Khan: Mr. Fletcher, I have Sophie here for you.
Alex Fletcher: Well, that sounds like fun. Who is she?
Khan: She says she's here to do your plants.
Alex Fletcher: No, tell her Jane does my plants.
Khan: She says it will only take five minutes and this is a good time for her.
Alex Fletcher: It seems she cannot be stopped. Send her up.

Greg Antonsky: Maybe you want something more commercial. More Pop-y.
Alex Fletcher: Just hold that thinly veiled insult on second.

Sophie Fisher: You should get some ice on that.
Alex Fletcher: Only if it's attached to some whiskey.

Sophie Fisher: I'm just here to cater to the plants.
Alex Fletcher: And you're doing a marvelous job. Although, that one is plastic.

Alex Fletcher: The best time I've had in the last fifteen years was sitting at that piano with you.
Sophie Fisher: That's wonderfully sensitive... especially from a man who wears such tight pants.
Alex Fletcher: It forces all the blood to my heart.

Dr. Kosevich: I've got it! Nurse, call the Anesthesiologist, this woman needs an enema.
Samuel, Rebecca, Nurse: An enema?
Dr. Kosevich: No, uh, she needs a pedicure.
Nurse: This ain't no goddam beauty parlor.
Dr. Kosevich: Epitath.
Samuel Faulkner: She's not dead, you moron.
Dr. Kosevich: Epidermus... Uh.
Rebecca Taylor: Epidural, asshole.

Samuel Faulkner: Are you sure?
Rebecca Taylor: I'm ten days late.
Samuel Faulkner: And there's no way you could have had it and just not noticed?

Samuel Faulkner: Think, you Commie bastard.
Dr. Kosevich: Shut up, you limey prick.

Rebecca Taylor: Sam! My water broke.
Samuel Faulkner: Well, we'll get you another one.