Quotes from Doris Day movies and TV shows

Calamity Jane: Excitement? Why, I got more arrows in the back of that coach than a porcupine has got stickers.

Calamity Jane: Make mine sarsparilly.

Calamity Jane: Whip, crack, away.

Calamity Jane: That's better. Next time I tell a story, keep your hands in your pockets you toothless old buffalo.

Jerry Webster: Okay, so I've sewn a few wild oats.
Carol Templeton: A few? You could qualify for a farm loan.

Carol Templeton: Yesterday at the beat you kissed me and I was thrilled.
Jerry Webster: A kiss? What does that prove? It's like finding out you can light a stove. It still doesn't make you a cook.

Jerry Webster: You're going up there to have my baby. My son, and I'm.
Carol Templeton: It's my baby and I'll have what I like. And I've decided I'm having a girl.
Jerry Webster: Have whatever you like. I love you both. Now will you marry me?

Carol Templeton: Think he'll like it?
Millie, Carol's Secretary: Well if he doesn't, he's been taking the wrong kind of chemicals.

Jerry Webster: I've only seen him a dozen or so times.
Carol Templeton: Well, what's your opinion?
Jerry Webster: I prefer to reserve judgment till I see him sober.
Carol Templeton: Oh! Doesn't that tell you what he is?
Jerry Webster: Miss Templeton, as my uncle, the missionary, used to say, "If thou canst not speak well of a man, speak not at all."
Carol Templeton: You make me feel ashamed of myself.

Carol Templeton: Mmm. This isn't bad, either. But what color's that floor?
Leonard: Lilac.
Carol Templeton: Lilac? Leonard, who has a lilac floor in their kitchen?
Leonard: I have.
Carol Templeton: Oh. Well, Leonard, everyone isn't as artistic as you are. We have to sell this wax to ordinary, everyday people.
Leonard: Ugh, them.

Jerry Webster: Mrs. Jerry Webster.
Carol Templeton: Don't you ever call me a name like that again.

Carol Templeton: Doctor, there's so much I can learn from you.
Jerry Webster: As my father, the philosopher, used to say, "Knock at my door and I shall take you in."
Carol Templeton: Dr. Tyler, I'm knocking.
Jerry Webster: Miss Templeton, I'm taking you in.

Judy: George, remember our first anniversary?
George Kimball: Remember. I made notes.

Judy: George, your hypochondria's showing.

Judy: When he tells me he's dying and he doesn't DIE... wouldn't he know that I'd get suspicious?

August 'Augie' Poole: Maybe I'd better get a regular job, and forget about art.
Isolde Poole: Never! Never to my dying day will I let you settle for anything less than you want to be.
Isolde Poole: If Van Gogh had been married to a woman like you, he'd still have both his ears.

Isolde Poole: I bought a dress at Bonwits. A lovely watermelon shantung.
August 'Augie' Poole: Fine. Now you've got something fit to wear into Saks.