Quotes from Denis Leary movies and TV shows

Diego: Are you calling me a liar?
Sid: I didn't say that.
Diego: You were thinking it.
Sid: [whispering to Manny.] I don't like this cat. He reads minds.

Diego: Congratulations. You're now an idiot in two languages.

[Peaches has just been born.]
Sid: It's a boy!
Diego: That's its tail.
Sid: It's a girl!

Gus: I have a gun. It's loaded. Shut up.

Rose: You're a "Wong"?
Gus: Well, my mother was Irish.
Rose: And your father?
Gus: Wasn't.

Gus: From now on, the only person who gets to yell is me. Why? Because I have a gun. People with guns get to do whatever they want. Married people without guns - for instance, you - DO NOT get to yell. Why? NO GUNS! No guns, no yelling. See? Simple little equation.

Tommy Gavin: Let me tell you something, sister, you serve two purposes in this house - you can give me a blow job or make me a sandwich. I'm not in the mood for head and I had a late breakfast, so you're shit out of luck.

Tommy Gavin: The harder I work, the luckier I goddamned get.

Tommy Gavin: Bless me father for I sinned... and so have you.

Tommy Gavin: When I was growing up, I had Sister Mary Shovel Face in school... you get Sharon Stone.

Gil Mars: What are you worried about? They're only toys.

Lono Veccio: A busket?

Lono Veccio: Don't even mention the fuckin' boots to me again. You got that?
Mickey: Sorry Lono.
Lono Veccio: It's not fuckin' funny.
Mickey: I know! I'm kidding.
Lono Veccio: I don't wanna hear about any fuckin' kinda footwear from you again. Don't even talk about fuckin' socks to me.

Detective Michael McCann: I love this neighborhood. Some of these broads are wearing my salary.