Quotes from Craig Charles movies and TV shows

Stoke Me A Clipper - S7-E2

Lister: Get real, man. Most eunuchs have got more balls than you.

Nanarchy - S7-E8

Lister: What, they fixed your core program and then decided they'd be better off without you?
Holly: Yeah, it was shortly after they met me.

Balance of Power - S1-E3

Lister: I'm going to pass the exams and become an officer.
Rimmer: Oh, come on, wise up, Lister!
Lister: You'll have to salute me, Rimmer! You'll have to call me "sir!" You'll have to give me Kochanski! And me cigarettes!
Rimmer: And on that day, Lister, Satan will be skating to work.

Thanks For The Memory - S2-E3

[Rimmer is drunk.]
Lister: What time is it?
Rimmer: [Crawls over to the alarm clock.] Saturday.
Lister: Is that the best you can do?
Rimmer: There are some numbers next to it but they could be anything.