Quotes from Channing Tatum movies and TV shows

Domingo: You guys even real cops? You look like kids in Halloween
Jenko: Hey! You want me to beat your dick off?
Domingo: You want to beat my dick off?
Schmidt: I think what he was trying to say was, he's gonna punch you so many times round the genital area that your dick's just gonna fall off.

Captain Dickson: Do you even know the Miranda rights?
Jenko: It obviously starts with... You have the right to... Remain an attorney...
Captain Dickson: Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?
Schmidt: Well, you do have the right to be an attorney if you want to.

Jenko: Fuck you, Glee!

Jenko: I'm your best nightm... I'm your worst nightmare.

Jenko: Oh, hey, look, there's Korean Jesus.
Captain Dickson: It's Vietnamese Jesus now, you racist motherfucker.

Captain Dickson: Hey, you two stop dicking around!
Captain Dickson: Congratulations, you managed to un-fuck a situation you originally already fucked up!
Schmidt: Thanks.
Captain Dickson: I wish I could have you un-fuck my daughter but I'll let that be in the past. Now you two, for your next mission, you two sons of bitches going to medical school!
Jenko: What?

Captain Dickson: We Jump Street, and we 'bout to jump in yo ass.
Jenko: Mmmm-hmmm.
Schmidt: Right in the crack.

Schmidt: There's a grenade in my shorts, can you reach it? Go in from underneath!
Jenko: Oh, shit! Is that it?
Schmidt: No, that's my dick!
Jenko: What about that?
Schmidt: That's my dick also!
Jenko: Why is it hard?
Schmidt: I'm so full of adrenalin right now.

Jenko: Fuck you, doves.

John Tyree: No matter where you are in the world, the moon is never bigger than your thumb.

Esca: How can a piece of metal mean so much to you?
Marcus Aquila: The eagle is not a piece of metal. The eagle is Rome.

Marcus Aquila: He's not a slave. And he knows more about honor and freedom than you'll ever know.

Marcus Aquila: Then I'll take Esca.
Aquila: He's a slave, he does what he does because he has to... He will slit your throat the minute you're alone.

Shawn MacArthur: Where are we going?
Harvey Boarden: You're in a $100,000 dollar Mercedes. Thats where were going.

Shawn MacArthur: So... What they got rules, or?
Harvey Boarden: Yeah! You lose, you get nothing.
Harvey Boarden: Go make som money.

Mark Schultz: I just don't wanna let you down.

John du Pont: You're going to do great things, Mark.
Mark Schultz: I'm gonna give you everything I have.

Mark Schultz: You can't buy Dave.

Roadblock: Not the first time you sent a girl running out of the room screaming.
Captain Duke Hauser: Not the first time I sent two girls screaming from a room.
Roadblock: Dude, completely inappropriate.

Breaker: [about Snake Eyes.] He doesn't talk.
Duke: Why?
Breaker: He doesn't say.