Quotes from Cary Elwes movies and TV shows - page 2 of 2

Westley: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand, let's get on with it.
Westley: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain means." It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

Robin Hood: For my first order of business, I wish to appoint a new Sheriff of Rottingham. My friend, Achoo.
Achoo: All right.
Crowd: A black sheriff?
Blinkin: He's black?
Achoo: And why not? It worked in Blazing Saddles.

Robin Hood: Blinkin, listen to me. They've taken the castle.
Blinkin: I thought it felt a bit drafty. This never would have happened if your father were alive.
Robin Hood: He's dead?
Blinkin: Yes.
Robin Hood: And my mother?
Blinkin: She died of pneumonia while you were away.
Robin Hood: And my brothers?
Blinkin: They all died of the plague.
Robin Hood: My dog Pongo?
Blinkin: Run over by a carriage.
Robin Hood: My goldfish Goldie?
Blinkin: Eaten by the cat.
Robin Hood: [tearing up.] My cat?
Blinkin: Choked on the goldfish.

Robin Hood: I owe you a great debt of gratitude, my friend. I am called Robin of Loxley.
Asneeze: My name is Asneeze. Father of Achoo.
Robin Hood: Bless you.
Asneeze: No, no, no, no, no. Achoo is my son. He's in England. Your country. He's an exchange student. I'd like you to look after him. He's in need of guidance. He is headstrong and cocksure. Or is it the other way around?

[Blinkin has snatched an arrow from mid-air as it's about to hit Robin.]
Achoo: How did you do that?
Blinkin: I heard that coming a mile away.
Robin Hood: Very good, Blinkin. Well done.
Blinkin: Pardon? Who's talking?

Sheriff of Rottingham: ENOUGH! King, illegal, forest, to, pig, wild, kill, in, it, a, is.
Maid Marian/Robin Hood: What?
Sheriff of Rottingham: I mean, don't you know, it is illegal to kill a wild pig in the king's forest?
Robin Hood: Is it not also illegal to sit in the king's throne and usurp his power in his absence?
Prince John: Careful, Robin. You go too far.
Robin Hood: I've only just begun. I've come to warn you, that if you don't stop levying these evil taxes, I shall lead the good people of England in a revolt against you.
Prince John: And why should the people listen to you?
Robin Hood: Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent.

Robin Hood: Darling, what are you doing here?
Maid Marian: I've come to warn you. Prince John and the sheriff have hired murderers to kill you at the fair tomorrow. You mustn't go.
Robin Hood: But, that's easy. I won't.
Maid Marian: Oh, I'm so happy. They were going to try to lure you there by having an archery contest.
Robin Hood: An archery contest?
Maid Marian: Their archer is unbeatable.
Robin Hood: Really?
Maid Marian: Robin, promise you won't go.
Robin Hood: Alright. I promise you won't go.
Maid Marian: Oh, thank you.

[Robin interrupts Prince John's feast and slams a dead pig onto the table.]
Sheriff of Rottingham: That's a wild boar!
Robin Hood: No, no. That's a wild pig.
[Robin points at Prince John.]
Robin Hood: *That's* a wild bore.

Cubs Fan ★

Prison guard: Where is your king?
Robin Hood: King? Which king would that be? King Louie? King Richard? King Kong? Larry King?