Quotes from B.J. Novak movies and TV shows

Ben Manalowitz: You were right, Eloise. I was the story. A self-absorbed know-it-all thinks he's gonna figure out the meaning of America, and all he learns is how empty he is. I was the one living a myth. They say you regret the things you don't do. I didn't love.

Ben Manalowitz: You know, um... There's some things I'm good at. I'm good at asking the right questions. I'm good at getting people to talk. And I'm especially good at drawing thematic connections between seemingly disparate elements and using that to illustrate a larger point or theory. So, whoever or whatever is responsible for what happened to Abilene, I will find this person or this generalized societal force, and I will define it. I'll define it.

Ben Manalowitz: Do you ever find wonder, if you did find something deeper with somebody, if that would somehow be more meaningful?
John: I do, sometimes. Like right now, I'm casually dating, like, six or seven different women. But I do wonder, deep down, what it would be like to seriously date two or three.

Ben Manalowitz: I don't understand you people.
Paris Shaw: 'You people' is a micro-agression.
Ben Manalowitz: My apologies. Y'all.
Paris Shaw: 'Y'all' is a cultural appropriation.
Ben Manalowitz: Paris, you accusing someone of cultural appropriation is cultural appropriation.

Ty Shaw: This is the most, uh, wretched, godforsaken stretch of land on the face of the earth. And I'd never leave.
Ben Manalowitz: Yeah. That's how I feel about Twitter.

Sharon Shaw: Bless your heart.
Ben Manalowitz: OK, you know what? I know what that means. So, bless your heart, and bless your heart, and bless your heart, you can all go bless yourselves.