Quotes from Bill Murray movies and TV shows - page 7 of 9

Herman Blume: Never in my wildest imagination did I ever dream I would have sons like these.

Herman Blume: Come work for me.
Max Fischer: What do you mean?
Herman Blume: I mean I-I could use someone like you.
Max Fischer: Look, I may not be rich, Mr. Blume, my father may only be a doctor, but we manage.

Herman Blume: Why did you ask me to come here?
Max Fischer: Oh, I was going to drop that tree on you.
Herman Blume: That big one?
Max Fischer: Yeah.
Herman Blume: It would've flattened me like a pancake.

Frank Cross: I never liked a girl well enough to give her twelve sharp knives.

Frank Cross: We're gonna need champagne for 250 people, and send the stuff that you send to me. Don't send the stuff that I send to other people.

Frank Cross: I get it. You're taking me back in time to show me my mother and father, and I'm supposed to get all goosey and blubbery. Well, forget it, pal, you got the wrong guy.
Ghost of Christmas Past: That's exactly what Attila the Hun said. When he saw his mother... Niagara Falls.

Frank Cross: The Jews taught me this great word: Schmuck. I was a schmuck, and now I'm not a schmuck.

Frank Cross: We have spent forty million dollars on a live TV show. You guys have got an ad with America's favorite old fart reading a book in front of a fireplace!

Frank Cross: Claire, the whole world. Whole world, Claire.

Herman: Boy, that Dick sure knows how to drink, huh?
Frank Cross: Why do you keep calling me "Dick"?
Herman: I'm sorry, Mr. Burton, I guess we don't know you well enough yet to call you Dick.

Frank Cross: The bitch hit me with a toaster.

Frank Cross: Do you think I'm way off base here?
Elliot: Yes. You're, well, you're a tad off base, sir. That thing looked like The Manson Family Christmas Special.

Frank Cross: It's Christmas Eve! It's... it's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we... we... we smile a little easier, we... w-w-we... we... we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.

Frank Cross: Grace, put yourself down for a towel, too.
Grace: What about my bonus?
Frank Cross: Towel and a facecloth.

Frank Cross: I want to see her nipples.
Censor Lady: But this is a christmas show.
Frank Cross: Well, I'm sure Charles Dickens would have wanted to see her nipples.
Carpenter: You can barely see them nipples.
Frank Cross: See? And these guys are really looking.

Vincent: Don't ever become a pencil-pusher kid, they're spineless.

Daka: My water is broken.
Vincent: Call a plumber.

Vincent: You got any money?
Oliver: Yes sir, $7.
Vincent: What is that, lunch money?
Oliver: Yes sir.
Vincent: Well, you might as well the hard way.

Oliver: He's paying me hourly.
Vincent: I'm showing him how the world works. You work, you get paid, you drink.
Maggie: You're drinking alcohol?
Vincent: ...I honestly don't remember.

Vincent: You never seen Abbott and Costello?
Oliver: No, sir. Are they old?
Vincent: No. They're dead. That's the oldest you can be.
Oliver: Or the youngest. Time freezes when you're dead.