Adam: That's what everybody's been saying: You'll feel better and don't worry and this is all fine and it's not.
Katherine: You can't change your situation. The only thing that you can change is how you choose to deal with it.
Christian Wolff: My father was an officer in the army. Psychological operations. He was concerned that I might be taken advantage of somehow, so he arranged for me to train with a number of specialists throughout my childhood. We lived in 34 homes in 17 years.
Dana Cummings: You moved 34 times?
Christian Wolff: Mm-hm.
Dana Cummings: God, that's extraordinary. I'm sure it must have been difficult. I haven't been anywhere. Well, Cancun - not my proudest moment.
Dana Cummings: Why would your clients follow you? You're an accountant.
Dana Cummings: Tell me that's not an original Pollock.
Claire Bennett: I hate to break it you, but I don't believe in ghosts.
Nina Collins: That doesn't mean you're not a coward.
Will Davis: Charlie got a job today.
Jillian Stewart: McDonald's or Taco Bell?
Charlie: Middle school chemistry teacher.
Jillian Stewart: I weep for our future.
Jamie Wellerstein: Did you call your agent.
Cathy Hiatt: He's on a retreat.
Jamie Wellerstein: What the hell is an agent retreat?
Cathy Hiatt: I don't know, they go into the woods and sacrifice actresses to breed more agents.
Erica Wexler: I'm so sorry about Beth, by the way. Your mom talked to my mom about it.
Zach Orfman: I used to really want her to come back.
Erica Wexler: Of course.
Zach Orfman: But things are really complicated between us, you know? Like kind of fucked up.
Erica Wexler: Right.
Zach Orfman: Now, I just kind of wish she would stay dead.
Mr. Right: What else are you doing today?
Martha McKay: Fighting the urge to run away from you?
Mr. Right: I'm actually on the run, too.
Martha McKay: From creepy guys like you?
Mr. Right: Oh man, these guys wish they were as creepy as I am.
Martha McKay: How did you do that?
Mr. Right: Some people waste time with the fighting. I just skip to the winning.
Martha McKay: 'cause humans just wanna put a name on something to make it feel safe, but really, what is a dinosaur other than a dragon?
Nick Kringle: I'm Santa, you know. I don't get a vacation. I don't even get Christmas off.
Noelle Kringle: Well, you can't be Santa if your having a nervous breakdown.
Noelle Kringle: I'm from a little town up north.
Alex Hapman: Canada?
Noelle Kringle: Canada wishes.
Beca: Your sweat smells like cinnamon.
Beca: Guys, we've never competed against bands that actually have instruments. So what's the plan?
Serenity: Aw, you guys just sing other people's songs, right? Like karaoke? That's so cute.
Calamity: I'm Calamity. This is Serenity, Veracity, and Charity.
Fat Amy: If I joined your group I could be obesity.
Stacey Pilgrim: I mean, did you really see a future with this girl?
Scott Pilgrim: Like... With jetpacks?
Stacey Pilgrim: Next time, we don't date the girl with eleven evil ex-boyfriends.
Scott Pilgrim: Seven.
Stacey Pilgrim: Well, that's not that bad.
