Quotes from Andy Samberg movies and TV shows

Rod Kimble: Have fun being married to satan.

Rod Kimble: Life is pain - we've got to scrape the joy from it every chance we get.

Rod Kimble: You have only to believe if you wish to achieve. That rhymed. Unintentional.

Denise: Tai Chi teaches that if you focus your body and mind you'll be able to perform at the peak of your abilities.
Rod Kimble: Yes, sensei.
Denise: You don't have to call me sensei, Rod.
Rod Kimble: Got it. Sensei, I have a question: Is there a Tai Chi move that would make a grown man crap his pants and not know why?
Denise: I'm not gonna lie to you, Rod. That move does exist. But you're not ready for it yet.

Denise: I'm sorry, Rod. What were you going to ask me?
Rod Kimble: Um, I was gonna ask you who you think would win in a fight between... a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco.
Denise: Is that what you were really going to ask me?
Rod Kimble: Of course.
Denise: Well, I think the grilled cheese sandwich - in a fair fight. But if it was prison rules, I'd put my money on the taco.
Rod Kimble: Wow, that's pretty racist but correct. I'll see you later.

Rod Kimble: You're wrong, Frank. I'm not a kid, I'm a man. I am gonna get you better, and then I'm gonna beat you to death.

Rod Kimble: Cool beans?
Kevin Powell: Cool beans.

Rod Kimble: Frank, I'm going to get you better, you old sack of shit, and then I'm going to uncork the ass beating of a lifetime on you! And you will respect me! Peace.

Kevin Powell: Wow, Rod. I can't believe she said yes.
Rod Kimble: Yeah Kevin. You've only to believe if you wish to achieve. That rhymed. Unintentional.
Denise: Wow. She's really pretty, Rod.
Rod Kimble: I know, D. But it's more than that me and Kathy. It's emotional. She gets me.
Dave: Wow, Rod. I am just green with jealous rage right now.

Rod Kimble: We don't talk much, do we? Kathy, was it? My name's Rod. I do awesome stunts all the time with my friends. You probably didn't know that. And you probably have lots of cool stuff about you that I don't know. Point is, if you don't sit down with someone and really talk and get to know them you'll never find those things out. So what do you say? Wanna make this thing official?

Rod Kimble: Funky Fresh.

Rod Kimble: I needed to think about last night. So I galloped into a wooded glen, and after punch-dancing out my rage and suffering an extremely long and very painful fall, I realised what has to be done.

Rod Kimble: Who wants to see me do a big-ass stunt?

Rod Kimble: I'd rather die than live in a world where I can't kick your ass.

Rod Kimble: What's going on? Is this some sort of interactive theatre art piece?

Jonathan: Are these monsters gonna kill me?
Dracula: Not as long as they think you're a monster.
Jonathan: That's kinda racist.

Jonathan: Look at me, I'm a Frankenhomie!

Dracula: You messed up, baby. You messed up big time. I told you to take it down. You'll ruin my hotel if they find out.
Jonathan: Well, maybe you're just jealous that people are finally having fun at this place.
Dracula: Oh, that? That was not fun. Everyone running, jumping, swimming with no order. That was the opposite of fun.
Jonathan: Do you even know what fun is?
Dracula: I invented fun.
Jonathan: Boy, the wrong people get to be immortal.

Johnny: Oh, yeah! Dolphin surfing.

Nyles: We were born lost, but now, you are found.