Quotes from Andy Samberg movies and TV shows - page 2 of 2

Nyles: I guess you followed me. It's one of those infinite time loop situations you might have heard about.
Sarah: That I might have heard about?
Nyles: Yeah.

Nana Schlieffen: Dear, I have been to more weddings in my life than you can imagine.
Nyles: You might be surprised.

Sarah: What if we get sick of each other?
Nyles: We're already sick of each other. It's the best.

Roy: You gotta find your Irvine.
Nyles: I don't have an Irvine.
Roy: We all have an Irvine.

Nyles: We kind of have no choice but to live. So I think your best bet is just to learn how to suffer existence.

Nyles: Pain matters! What we do to other people matters! We were having fun. Then you killed Roy.

Nyles: I would rather die with you, than live in this world without you.

Nyles: You just have to embrace the fact that nothing matters.

Sarah: I can't keep waking up in here. Everything that we are doing is meaningless.
Nyles: I hope it's not all meaningless.

Nyles: I am the antichrist. Just kidding, there is no God.

Jerry: Good day so far?
Nyles: Today, tomorrow, yesterday, it's all the same.

Conner: Harry, what the hell?
Harry: First of all, this is an 18,000-seat arena. Nobody sells this out. You sold 15,000 seats. That's still really good.
Conner: No, it's not good. Hammerleg sold this place out last week.
Harry: Well, Aquaspin agrees with you. They're concerned about ticket sales.
Conner: What? But it's an 18,000 seat place. Nobody sells that out.
Harry: Hammerleg did last week.

Conner: There's no such thing as selling out anymore, man. This is how big business works. I mean, nowadays, if you don't sell out, people will wonder if nobody asked you to.

Harry: Conner, don't worry about it. You were up there for, like, ten seconds.
Conner: Ten seconds is an eternity, Harry. It's a third of the way to Mars.
Harry: Conner, we've talked about this. Thirty Seconds to Mars is the name of a band. It's not a fact.

Junior: Orphan Tulip?
Tulip: Tulip is just fine, Orphan hurts my heart.

Junior: Storks don't deliver babies anymore! If anyone finds out about this, I am dead meat.

Donny: Do you have any AXE body spray?
Todd: No, Donny. I don't have any AXE body spray because I'm not a fucking douchebag.
Donny: That's a douchebag thing? When did that become a douchebag thing?

Donny: Your mother was a math teacher and I was pretty much a whiz kid myself.
Todd: The ability to make a bong out of a Taco Bell cup does not make you a whiz kid, Donny.

Todd: You know what I do remember? You making me drive you home from the beach 'cause you got too drunk.
Donny: It makes sense to me. When somebody's hammered, they have another guy drive home.
Todd: I was eight.