Quotes from Alyson Hannigan movies and TV shows

Michelle: Okay, I'm a hot girl. Now what do you want to do?
Jim: I want to feel your boobs.
Michelle: No, you dingbat. You don't just go groping away. You gotta pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey.

Michelle: Get off my husband you little piece of shit!

Michelle: Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. It's like monkeys learning to use tools for the first time.

Doppelgangland - S3-E16

Willow: That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and...skanky. And I think I'm kind of gay.

Lie To Me - S2-E7

Willow: If I say something you really don't want to hear, do you promise not to bite me?
Angel: Are you going to tell me I'm jealous?
Willow: Well, you do sometimes get that way.

Fool For Love - S5-E7

Xander: What's with the hand wave? You see that? Does that, like, mean something?
Willow: It's code. I think it breaks down to 'choo-choo!'
Anya: It probably means to follow him. That, or wait here for him.
Willow: [whispering.] Ask him.
Xander: [yelling.] Hey, Riley? What's the [hand gesture.] all about?
Riley: It means yell real loud so the vampires who don't know we're coming will have a sporting chance.
Xander: See, now he's all mad and sarcastic.
Willow: It's because you were doing all that yelling, Mr. Stealthy-pants.

Same Time, Same Place - S7-E3

Willow: Giles, is there anything you don't know everything about?
Giles: Synchronised swimming. It remains a mystery to me.

Band Candy - S3-E6

Willow: Kiss rocks? Why would anyone want to kiss...oh, wait. I get it.

When She Was Bad - S2-E1

Willow: I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles: Willow, I think we're a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A "bitca"?

LostRose0

Frank Jones: When I first got married to your mother, we barely knew each other. Could barely even speak the English language.
Julia Jones: But you're from Jersey.
Frank Jones: I'm trying to make a point here.

Julia Jones: You had me at hello.
Grant Funkyerdoder: I'm just a girl. Standing in front of a boy. Asking him to love her.

Frank Jones: I was wrong about Grant. He's really a nice guy. He even liked you when you were butt-ugly.
Julia Jones: How do you...?
Frank Jones: I saw it in your flashback.

Best Prom Ever - S1-E20

Lily: Do you think we look young enough to blend in at a high school?
Barney: Please, I'm ageless. Scherbatsky just needs a good night's sleep and you've got "statutory" written all over your body.

The Bracket - S3-E14

Barney: She said I hooked up with her? What was her name, what did she look like?
Lily: She didn't say her name, but she had blonde hair, boobs...kinda trashy.
Barney: Dead in the eyes with an aura of self-loathing and despair?
Lily: Yes!
Barney: That's all of them!

Lily: You son of a bitch!