Quotes from Alan Arkin movies and TV shows

Sam Drebben: Another day, another dollar.

Lester Siegel: You're worried about the Ayatollah? Try the WGA.

Lester Siegel: Argo fuck yourself.

Lester Siegel: If I'm going to make a fake movie, it's gonna be a fake hit.

Lester Siegel: It's got horses in it, it's a Western.

Lester Siegel: The saying goes, "What starts in farce ends in tragedy."
John Chambers: No, it's the other way around.
Lester Siegel: Who said that exactly?
John Chambers: Marx.
Lester Siegel: Groucho said that?

Lester Siegel: Bad news, bad news. Even when it's good news, it's bad news. John Wayne in the ground 6 months and this is what is left of America.

Stanislaw "Shlomo" Szmajzner: I will do anything for revenge, even if I have to die for it.
Leon Feldhendler: How old are you?
Stanislaw "Shlomo" Szmajzner: How old do you have to be?
Leon Feldhendler: You are old enough.

Leon Feldhendler: Did you know that tomorrow is the beginning of Sukkot?
Lt. "Sasha" Pechersky: Yes. 'Tis a Holy Day.
Leon Feldhendler: I forgot. And my father was a rabbi.
Lt. "Sasha" Pechersky: They kill on Holy Days. Why not the other way around? God will forgive.
Leon Feldhendler: There are those here who are wondering if we can forgive God.

Maxwell Smart: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
The Chief: I don't know. Were you thinking "Holy shit, holy shit! A swordfish almost went through my head"? If so, yes.

Agent 23: If we don't follow rules, then who are we?
The Chief: I'll tell you who we're not. We're not people who jam staples into other people's heads! That's CIA crap!

George Aaronow: How can you talk to me that way? I work here! I didn't come here to be mistreated.

George Aaronow: When I talk to the police I get nervous.
Ricky Roma: Yes. You know who doesn't?
George Aaronow: Who?
Ricky Roma: Thieves.

Willie Davis: What's the matter?
Albert Garner: My face is killing me. I never had to smile so much in my life.

Albert Garner: I'm in. I wanna rob that bank.

Rance Holloway: God damn! That's the worst thing I ever saw in my life. And I saw my kids being born!

Val: So how's your health?
Hirsch: Well, they took something out of me a couple of months ago.
Val: What'd they take out?
Hirsch: I don't know. I didn't ask, it's none of my business. But I'm a little more streamlined now, a little more aerodynamic.

Hirsch: Give me the key.
Doc: There's no key.
Hirsch: Give me the key.
Doc: It's new. It's a button. Push the button.
Val: Push the button.
Doc: It's computers.
Hirsch: Man, this is like the future.

Hirsch: Hey, Val.
Val: Yeah?
Hirsch: It's like the old days, isn't it?
Val: No! It's better.
Hirsch: Yeah! Why?
Val: Because this time we can appreciate it.
Hirsch: Yeah, that's why.

Roat: Did you know they wanted to kill me? I did. I knew even before they did. They were awful amateurs, and that's why you saw through them.
Susy Hendrix: I saw through you too.
Roat: No, not all the way, Suzy. Even now, not all the way. The lovely thing was the way I let them set it all up. All that silliness of meeting in the parking lot, the whole thing, they had comic book minds. So, I let them do it their way, right up to the very end. And then, topsy-turvy. Me topsy and them turvy.