Lester Siegel: Argo fuck yourself.
Jack O'Donnell: I am not leaving him at the airport with six people and his dick in his hand. Tell the Director to call the White House. Do your fucking job!
Tony Mendez: There are only bad options. It's about finding the best one.
CIA Director: You don't have a better bad idea than this?
Jack O'Donnell: Carter said you were a great American.
Tony Mendez: A great American what?
Jack O'Donnell: He didn't say.
John Chambers: So you want to come to Hollywood, act like a big shot...
Tony Mendez: Yeah.
John Chambers:...Without actually doing anything?
Tony Mendez: No.
John Chambers: You'll fit right in.
Lester Siegel: If I'm going to make a fake movie, it's gonna be a fake hit.
Lester Siegel: You're worried about the Ayatollah? Try the WGA.
Jack O'Donnell: If we wanted applause, we would have joined the circus.
Tony Mendez: What about the White House?
Jack O'Donnell: Carter is shitting enough bricks to build the pyramids.
First A.D.: He says the minotaur prosthetic is too tight, so he can't act.
John Chambers: If he could act, he wouldn't be playing the minotaur.
CIA Director: You think is more plausible than teachers?
Jack O'Donnell: Yes, we do. One, there are no more foreign teachers in Iran.
Tony Mendez: And we think everybody knows Hollywood people. And everybody knows they'd shoot in Stalingrad with Pol Pot directing if it would sell tickets.
Joe Stafford: You really believe your little story's gonna make a difference when there's a gun to our heads?
Tony Mendez: I think my story is the only thing between you and a gun to your head.
Jack O'Donnell: Brace yourself; it's like talking to those two old fucks from The Muppets.
Lester Siegel: Bad news, bad news. Even when it's good news, it's bad news. John Wayne in the ground 6 months and this is what is left of America.
John Chambers: You need somebody who's a somebody to put their name on it. Somebody respectable. With credits. Who you can trust with classified information...who will produce a fake movie...for free.
Lester Siegel: The saying goes, "What starts in farce ends in tragedy."
John Chambers: No, it's the other way around.
Lester Siegel: Who said that exactly?
John Chambers: Marx.
Lester Siegel: Groucho said that?
Lester Siegel: It's got horses in it, it's a Western.
Answer: A film crew is more credible than a group of tourists being involved in this type of activity. Tourists' behavior would be more limited and subject to being noticed by authorities if they acted in a unusual manner. A film crew would have access to more out-of-the-way locations, and if they acted suspiciously, could pass it off as it being part of making a movie.
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