Half & Half
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Big Dee Dee Thorne: Well, since no-one has offered to buy me a drink, I guess I'll buy my own. Now I know how Phyllis feels.

Andre Spencer Williams: It's a well known fact: To keep a man, you have to feed a man. Here, I'll prove it to you. Hey, Tina, what the fastest way to a man's heart?
Tina: Through his chest with a sharp knife. Give me something hard next time.

Phyllis Thorne: Oh, what a day! I've never had to dry so many tears.
Big Dee Dee Thorne: You poor dear. Were you trying on bathing suits again?

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