Arthur

Arthur (2011)

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Police Sergeant: You're drunk again, Arthur.
Arthur: No, I have remained drunk since our last encounter.

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Arthur: What was that?
Susan: French kiss.
Arthur: Really? Because the French always surrender. That was decidedly German.

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Arthur: Susan, mentally ill people are spontaneous. It's all about context.

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Hobson: Evander, if he's not out of this ring in one minute I'll bite your other ear off.

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Arthur: Congratulations, you're winning the dead parent game. But it's not too late to run home and butcher my mother.

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Arthur: Tiffany, this is my nanny Hobson, my best friend in the whole world.
Tiffany: Your nanny?
Hobson: He's merely shaped like an adult.

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Arthur: I'm going to take a bath.
Hobson: I'll alert the media.

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Arthur: Why didn't you tell me before?
Hobson: I didn't want you to feel bad.
Arthur: Why are you telling me now?
Hobson: Because I want you to feel bad.

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Arthur: I'm talking about Tuscany! White truffle gelato! Have you ever tried white truffle gelato? It makes all other gelato taste like shit.

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Susan: You're running from yourself, Arthur.
Arthur: I wish I was, 'cause I'd let me get away.

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Interviewer: Do you know how to use Excel?
Arthur: No.
Interviewer: Powerpoint?
Arthur: No.
Interviewer: Outlook?
Arthur: Generally positive. You know, I mean, I have down days, like anyone.

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Arthur: We don't have any thing in common. You love horses. I don't trust them. Their shoes are permanent. Who makes that kind of commitment to a shoe?

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Arthur: Who wouldn't want to marry a sexy clown?

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