Three wise men visit baby Brian's stable, and present him with gifts. Suddenly they return, snatching the gifts, realising they have given them to the wrong baby. Thirty years later, Brian is living with his grumpy mother, who tells him he is a Roman. He protests, and joins the People's Front of Judea, an anti-Roman revolutionary group. They send him out to write "Romans go home" on the palace wall: which he does, in very bad Latin. A passing Roman Centurion affably corrects it, and makes him write it out 100 times. Later he falls in love with Judith, one of the revolutionaries. Brian returns to the group, and joins them in a plot to kidnap Pilate's wife. In the palace, they meet a rival group doing the same thing. They all fight and kill each other, except Brian, who is arrested, and interviewed by Pilate. While the guards are laughing helplessly at the name of Pilate's friend "Biggus Dickus", Brian escapes, and finds his way back to the group. He then ends up making a speech to local people, who suddenly believe he is the Messiah. They all pursue him, but he flees, until the Romans arrest him again.
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