The Hangover
Movie Quote Quiz

Alan Garner: I shouldn't be here.
Doug Billings: Why is that, Alan?
Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... Or a Chuck E. Cheese.

Phil Wenneck: You're not really wearing that are you?
Alan Garner: Wearing what?
Phil Wenneck: The man purse. You actually gonna wear that or are you just fuckin' with me?
Alan Garner: It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it's not a purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.
Phil Wenneck: So does Joy Behar.

Stu Price: I lost a tooth! I married a whore!

Stu Price: They're really a lot more mature than you think.
Phil Wenneck: Paging Doctor Faggot! Paging Doctor Faggot!
Melissa: You should probably go, Doctor Faggot.

Phil Wenneck: Best little chapel, you know where that is?
Doctor: I do, its at the corner of get a map and fuck off.

Mr. Chow: You gonna fuck on me?
Alan Garner: Nobody's gonna fuck on you! I'm on your side! I hate Godzilla! I hate him too! I hate him! He destroys cities! Please! This isn't your fault. I'll get you some pants.

Stu Price: This does not seem fair.
Phil Wenneck: It's rock-paper-scissors. There's nothin' more fair.

Officer Franklin: I see guys like you in here every fuckin' day.
Officer Garden: Every fuckin' day!
Officer Franklin: Yeah let's all go to Vegas and get really fucked up!
Officer Garden: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Officer Franklin: Let's go steal a cop car because it'd be real fuckin' funny!

Stu Price: You found the car?
Officer Franklin: Yeah! It was parked in the middle of Las Vegas Blvd. With a note that said "Couldn't find a meter, so here's $4."

Phil Wenneck: To a night the four of us will never forget!

Phil Wenneck: Who was that guy? He was so mean!

Stu Price: You know, everyone says Mike Tyson is such a badass, but I think he's kind of a sweetheart.
Alan Garner: I think he's mean.

Stu Price: We're in a stolen cop car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back. What part of this is cool?
Alan Garner: I think the cop car part's pretty cool.

Stu Price: That's my grandma's ring. She made it all the way through the holocaust with that thing. It's legit.

Stu Price: That is not Doug.
Mr. Chow: What're you talking about, Willis? That him!
Stu Price: No, I'm sorry, Mr. Chow, that's not our friend, he... It's...
Alan Garner: The Doug we're looking for is a white.

Stu Price: I look like a nerdy hillbilly!

Stu Price: So, uh, are you sure you're qualified to be taking care of that baby?
Alan Garner: What are you talking about? I've found a baby before.
Stu Price: You found a baby before? Where?
Alan Garner: Coffee Bean.

Sid Garner: Don't let Alan drive, because there's something wrong with him.
Doug Billings: Understood.
Sid Garner: Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him.

Alan Garner: It was a real pleasure meeting you.
Melissa: Fuck off!
Alan Garner: I'm thinking about getting my bartender's license.
Melissa: Suck my dick.
Alan Garner: No, thank you.

Phil Wenneck: [using the loudspeaker on a police car.] Ma'am, in the leopard dress, you have an amazing rack. [To himself.] I should have been a fucking cop.

Phil Wenneck: Whose fucking baby is that?
Stu Price: Alan, are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite?
Alan Garner: Yeah, I checked all the rooms... No one's there. Check its collar or something.

Stu Price: Don't let the beard fool you. He's a child!

Stu Price: You are literally too stupid to insult.
Alan Garner: Thank you.

Doug Billings: He was a bartender, and he didn't even come inside her
Stu Price: That's a good thing, she's afraid of semen.

Sid Garner: Now remember, what happens in Vegas stays, in Vegas. Except herpes, that shit will come back with you.

Stu Price: Here's something I would like to remind you two of: our best friend Doug is probably face down in a ditch right now with a meth head butt-fucking his corpse!
Alan Garner: That's highly unlikely.

Officer Franklin: Not you, fat Jesus.

Alan Garner: I have a question. You probably get this a lot, but this isn't the real Caesar's Palace, is it?

Stu Price: Ew! Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza?
Alan Garner: Yes.

Mr. Chow: It's funny because he's fat!

Alan Garner: No, it's a satchel... Indiana Jones has one.

Alan Garner: Hey what's that on your arm?
Stu Price: Oh my God - Phil, you were in the hospital last night.
Phil Wenneck: Yeah, I guess I was.
Alan Garner: Are you okay?

Alan Garner: It would be so cool if I could breast-feed.

Mr. Chow: So long, gay boys!

Doug Billings: Tracy did mention we shouldn't let him gamble. Or drink too much.
Phil Wenneck: Jesus, he's like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit.

Stu Price: Oh my God, I can't believe I gave away my grandmother's Holocaust ring to a complete stranger.
Alan Garner: I didn't even know they gave out rings during the Holocaust.

Stu Price: You do know counting cards is illegal, right?
Alan Garner: Counting cards isn't illegal. It's frowned upon... Like masturbating on an airplane.
Phil Wenneck: I'm pretty sure that's illegal too.
Alan Garner: Maybe since 9/11 when everyone got so damn sensitive. Thanks a lot Bin Laden!

Alan Garner: We're a wolf pack of four, wandering the desert, searching for strippers and cocaine.

Phil Wenneck: Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.

Alan Garner: Tigers love pepper... They hate cinnamon.

Phil Wenneck: It's Phil, leave a message. But don't text me. It's gay.

Black Doug: I always wondered why they were called roofies. 'Cause you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call them floories.
Alan Garner: Or rapies.

Phil Wenneck: Tracy, it's Phil.
Tracy Garner: Phil, where the hell are you guys?
Phil Wenneck: Listen, we fucked up. We lost Doug.
Tracy Garner: What? We're getting married in five hours!
Phil Wenneck: Yeah... That's not gonna happen.

Phil Wenneck: We'll deal with the baby later.
Stu Price: Phil, we're not gonna leave the baby in the room, there's a fucking tiger in the bathroom!

Stu Price: Why don't we remember a God damn thing from last night?
Phil Wenneck: Obviously because we had a great fucking time.

Stu Price: You are a fucking moron!
Alan Garner: Your language is offensive.
Stu Price: Fuck you!

Phil Wenneck: Fuck, I keep forgetting about the goddamn tiger!

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