Zack Brown: I've known her since the first grade, you don't fuck someone you met in the first grade.
Delaney: Excuse me, I met my wife in kindergarten, we got married senior year, and she's been the queen of my world ever since.
Zack Brown: But what if you could do it all over again?
Delaney: I would jerk off and live by myself. That woman is the bane of my existence.
Zack Brown: I'm a guy. You give me a two popsicle sticks and a rubber band and I'll find a way to fuck it like a filthy MacGyver!
Miriam Linky: Nobody wants to see us fuck, Zack!
Zack: EVERYBODY wants to see ANYBODY fuck. I hate Rosie O'Donell, but if somebody said "I got a tape of Rosie O'Donell getting fucked stupid" I'd be like "Why the fuck aren't we watching that right now?"
Delaney: What? Han Solo ain't never had no sex with Princess Leia in the Star War!
Deacon: She frosted me like a fucking cake!
Zack Brown: I'm gonna fuck you with my pecker!
Miriam Linky: Dude... That's really dirty.
Zack Brown: That's too dirty?
Miriam Linky: That offends me.
Zack Brown: Penis?
Miriam Linky: Fine.
Zack Brown: I'm gonna fuck you with my penis!
Zack Brown: Oh you'll be sorry when I'm giving you the best orgasms of your life.
Miriam Linky: Yeah right. As if you even know what you're doing down there.
Zack Brown: Where's the clitoris again? Is it in your ass?
Zack Brown: Editor and DP, looks like you got your shit covered.
Deacon: Do not say 'shit covered' to me again.
Zack Brown: What's your name?
Lester: Lester... Lester the Molester Cockenschtuff.
Zack Brown: Wow. That's a great porn name.
Lester: I get to pick a porn name?. Then I want to be called... Pete Jones.
