Sheriff Sam Deeds: Well, I'm working on a few things. I'm going over to the other side.
Ray: Republicans?
Sheriff Sam Deeds: No, Mexico.
Sheriff Sam Deeds: You oughta put up a banner: "Frontera, Texas: gateway to inexpensive pussy."
Pricilla Worth: Damn, they're closing down military left and right and putting up jails like 7-Eleven stores.
Sheriff Sam Deeds: I suppose Hollis told you. We found Charlie Wade.
Otis Payne: Is that right? Start digging holes in this county, no telling what'll come up.
Otis Payne: Am I going to get to meet that family of yours?
Delmore Payne: Why would you want to do that?
Otis Payne: Because I'm your father.
Delmore Payne: You'll get official notification when I make my decision.
Wesley Birdsong: This stretch of road runs between nowhere and not much else.
Wesley Birdsong: Hell, at my age, you learn a new name you gotta forget an old one.
Bartender: I'm as liberal as the next guy.
Sheriff Sam Deeds: If the next guy is a redneck.
Sheriff Sam Deeds: Mrs. Bledsoe?
Minnie Bledsoe: That's me.
Sheriff Sam Deeds: I'm Sheriff Deeds.
Minnie Bledsoe: Sheriff Deeds is dead, honey. You just Sheriff Junior.
Sheriff Sam Deeds: Yeah, that's the story of my life.
Otis Payne: It's not like there's a line between the good people and the bad people. It is not like you're one or the other.
Mikey: Let's see... I did two tours of duty in southeast Asia and I was married for five years. I couldn't tell you which experience was worse. I knew she was Japanese going in, but she didn't tell me about the Ninja assassin part.
Coworker: Your mother's family is Spanish?
Pilar Cruz: Sure, they go back to Cortez. When he rode by, they were squatting in a hut cooking hamsters for dinner.
