Knocked Up (2007)

Ben's Dad: Life doesn't care about your vision. You just gotta roll with it.

Jack: We decided that, we want you to be on camera.
Alison Scott: Oh my god, really?
Jill: I know, I was so surprised too.

Martin: You guys aren't suppose to make fun at me that's not part of the rules.
Jason: Martin why didn't you just listen when I was explaining the rules? You just looked at me with that blank stare of yours - it was like talking to a wax statue.

Ben Stone: Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.

Doorman: What the fuck is she doing at the club? That's not even good parenting right there. Your old ass should know better than that.

Jason: Granted, gynecology is only a hobby of mine, but it sounds to me like she's crowning.

Martin: Whatever. I'm glad I'm not a Jew.
Ben Stone: So are we.
Ben Stone: You weren't chosen for a reason.

Jonah: She like-a the way your dick taste.

Jay: Because your face looks like a vagina.

Jodi: You must be angry at the baby whenever it steals your food, huh. Ohh that's mine, not yours. But, you know, because you're family you gotta share.

Pete: Just don't ask me to lend you any money.
Ben Stone: Can I just - have some?

Young Doctor: How long you kids been married?
Ben Stone: We're not married.
Young Doctor: Are you single?
Ben Stone: She's not single, she's just not married.
Young Doctor: Are you two together?

Ben's Dad: If it grows from the ground, it's probably okay.

Jonah: I won't say it but it rhymes with shmashmortion.

Pete: I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles.
Ben Stone: That's sad.
Pete: Totally sad. Their smiling faces just point out your inability to enjoy anything.

Ben Stone: I live in your phone.