Carface: Morons! I'm surrounded by morons.
Itchy Itchiford: In him there's the luck of the Irish.
Charlie: The pride of the German.
Itchy Itchiford: Even, he-he, a bit of Siam.
Charlie: Siam? There's the calm of the English.
Itchy Itchiford: The charm of the Spanish.
Charlie: A pedigree certainly ain't what I am. So call me a mixed-up pup.
Itchy Itchiford: You're a mixed-up pup.
Charlie: But the only way this pup knows is up.
Itchy Itchiford: Charlie, let me think about this.
Charlie: No! Don't think! From now on, I'll do the thinking.
Whippet Angel: All dogs go to heaven because, unlike people, dogs are naturally good and loyal and kind.
Charlie: That Carface has something up his sleeve.
Itchy Itchiford: Yeah, a gun.
Charlie: And when I find out what it is, I'm going to ruin him.