Capt. Spaulding: Tell me, what do you think of the traffic problem? What do you think of the marriage problem? What do you think of at night when you go to bed, you beast?
Capt. Spaulding: Play the song about Montreal.
Ravelli: Montreal?
Capt. Spaulding: I'm a Dreamer, Montreal.
Capt. Spaulding: Something has been throbbing within me. Oh, it's been beating like the incessant tom-tom in the primitive jungle. Something that I must ask you.
Mrs. Rittenhouse: What is it, Capt.?
Capt. Spaulding: Would you wash out a pair of socks for me?
Capt. Spaulding: Oh, Hives! Hives! Where are you? Turn on the lights.
Capt. Spaulding: Mrs. Rittenhouse, did you lose that fish again?
Roscoe Chandler: Listen, here. I have me a check for $5,000. Now, I give it to you. Here.
Ravelli: Hey, is it good?
Roscoe Chandler: Well, of course it is good. Who would give me a bad check?
Ravelli: I would.
Ravelli: How 'bout playing some bridge? You play bridge?
Mrs. Rittenhouse: I play bridge a little.
Ravelli: What do you play for?
Mrs. Rittenhouse: Oh, we just play for small stakes.
Ravelli: And French fry potatoes?
Capt. Spaulding: You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you.
Capt. Spaulding: How much would you charge to run into an open manhole?
Ravelli: Just the cover charge.
Capt. Spaulding: Well, drop in sometime.
Ravelli: Sewer.
Capt. Spaulding: Well, we cleaned that up pretty well.
Grace Carpenter: Well, Sis, it looks as if we yield the social honor of the season to Mrs. Rittenhouse.
Mrs. Whitehead: Well, isn't there something we can do?
Grace Carpenter: We might shoot ourselves.
Mrs. Whitehead: I'd rather shoot Mrs. Rittenhouse.
Capt. Spaulding: We three would make an ideal couple. Why you've got beauty, charm, money! You have got money, haven't you? Because if you haven't, we can quit right now.
Mrs. Whitehead: The captain is charming, isn't he?
Mrs. Rittenhouse: I'm fascinated.
Capt. Spaulding: I'm fascinated, too. Right on the arm.
