O'Grady: It's too bad to see a swell kid like you in this racket. Why don't you get out of it while the breaks are in your favor. The best you'll get is the worst of it. Why be a sap?
Ravelli: Well, I tell ya Capt., you see, my idea of a house is something nice and a small and comfortable.
Capt. Spaulding: That's the way I feel about it. I don't want anything elaborate. Just a little place that I can call home and tell the wife I won't be there for dinner.
Census Taker: Don't criticize this marriage law. It, like the Volstead Act, is a noble experiment.
Stan Sr.: Remember the old adage: You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Oliver: Didn't you once tell me that you had an uncle?
Stanley: Sure, I've got an uncle. Why?
Oliver: Now we're getting somewhere. Is he living?
Stanley: No. He fell through a trap door and broke his neck.
Oliver: Was he building a house?
Stanley: No, they were hanging him.
Paul Bäumer: War isn't the way it looks back here.