Sapphire: William? I forgot to tell you. Your mom called. She says you gotta call home immediately. And she says to tell you, "I know what's going on."
Elaine Miller: Keep the small bills on the outside and call me if anyone gets drunk.
William Miller: I will call you if anyone anywhere gets drunk.
Jeff Bebe: Doris is the soul of this band.
Russell Hammond: Oh, my God. Holy shit. Fuck! I grew up with that lampshade. I love this kitchen. I fucking love this kitchen.
Russell Hammond: You know, I think we both wanted to, uh, to be with her. I guess she wanted us to be together.
Lester Bangs: Don't let those swill merchants rewrite you.
William Miller: I kept thinking I was gonna go home the next day.
Dick Roswell: Yeah. So did I... fifteen years ago.
Lester Bangs: The Doors? Jim Morrison? He's a drunken buffoon posing as a poet.
Alice Wisdom: I like The Doors.
Lester Bangs: Give me The Guess Who. They got the courage to be drunken buffoons, which makes them poetic.
Russell Hammond: Write what you want.
Polexia Aphrodisia: Forgive me father, for I may sin tonight.
Russell Hammond: It doesn't sound like music anymore, you know, it sounds like... lifestyle maintenance, or something.
Elaine Miller: Look at this: an entire generation of Cinderellas and there's no glass slipper.
Vic Munoz: Mr Robert Plant, he signed-signed my T-shirt five minutes ago! Please don't smear it. Oh, dear God. Please don't smear it. But five minutes ago, he touched this pen. He touched this pen.
Russell Hammond: I am a golden god.
Polexia Aphrodisia: Let's deflower the kid.
Jeff Bebe: Is it that hard to make us look cool?
Russell Hammond: I hurt the flower.
Polexia Aphrodisia: Don't go anywhere, Opie.
Anita Miller: It's unfair that we can't listen to our music.
Elaine Miller: That's because it's music about drugs and promiscuous sex.
Anita Miller: Simon and Garfunkel is poetry.
Elaine Miller: Yes it's poetry. It's poetry of drugs and promiscuous sex. Honey, they're on pot.
Young William: Mom, tell me more about Livia.
Elaine Miller: She killed everybody so her son Tiberius could inherit the throne - just like Nixon.
Chosen answer: "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John.