Pirates of Silicon Valley
Movie Quote Quiz

Steve Jobs: Are you a virgin?
Mike Markkula: Steve, come on.

Bill Gates: Think they're hookers?
Paul Allen: Either that or motel inspectors. I saw one of them go into the room next to ours about a dozen times yesterday.

Steve Jobs: Maybe in a past life I was a poet - or an artist.

Tim Patterson: Why do you want to buy my operating system?
Paul Allen: We think we might be able to, uh, mess with it, and, uh, resell it.
Tim Patterson: Who to?
Paul Allen: We've got some people we're sorta talkin' to. Some of 'em don't really want it known what we're doin' with 'em and they made us sign a secrecy agreement.
Tim Patterson: And you're offering us...?
Paul Allen: Fifty thousand.
Tim Patterson: Dollars?
Paul Allen: Dollars.

Ballmer: You're the only guy I know who pays strippers to put their clothes on.

Arlene: Steve, why do you care what I call the baby?
Steve Jobs: Because I don't want the baby named Rainbow! Or Orisha, or Ravi Shankar, or any other name like that.

Steve Wozniak: Sometimes not knowing how crazy something is, is a good thing.

John Sculley: Steve, I'm worried. About what's happening. All the "them versus us" stuff. Macintosh versus Apple II.
Steve Jobs: You don't understand, John. People need a cause.

Steve Jobs: You are putting poison into your body.
Steve Wozniak: That's french fries, man. You know, all-American food?
Steve Jobs: That's what I'm talking about.
Steve Wozniak: Come on, I can't eat like you do. Eatin' fruit all the time? That's weird.
Steve Jobs: It's not weird. It's pure.

Steve Wozniak: Microsoft? Nobody I knew ever heard of Microsoft. Or Bill Gates. I mean, they were nobodies. But then we were all nobodies, which was perfect for us. Because all the respectable, straight-arrow guys were busy doing what they always do, which is be respectable. Which meant the rest of us could run around acting like crazies, which is what we did best. I miss those days.

Bill Gates: Success is a menace. It fools smart people into thinking they can't lose.

Steve Jobs: We're better than you are! We have better stuff.
Bill Gates: You don't get it, Steve. That doesn't matter.

Bill Gates: There may be a few... similarities.
Steve Jobs: Similarities? Similarities? Try theft.

Mike Markkula: Steve Wozniak's employee number one, you're number two.
Steve Jobs: Wait a minute. I'm employee number one. Woz?
Steve Wozniak: Doesn't matter to me.
Steve Jobs: I'm employee number one around here.
Mike Markkula: I'm not saying anything. I wasn't implying anything.
Steve Jobs: All right, then I'll be zero. Woz, you can be number one. I'll be zero. Okay?

Steve Jobs: What is this? This is like doing business with a praying mantis. You get seduced, and then eaten alive afterwards?
Bill Gates: Get real, would ya? You and I are both like guys who had this rich neighbor - Xerox - who left the door open all the time. And you go sneakin' in to steal a TV set. Only when you get there, you realise that I got there first. I got the loot, Steve! And you're yellin'?"That's not fair. I wanted to try to steal it first." You're too late.

IBM Executive: The profits are in the computers themselves, not this software stuff.

Steve Jobs: What's he talking about, the Altair? I never had a problem with the Altair - 'til I tried to use it.

Businessman: Steve - it is Steve, right? You say this gadget of yours is for ordinary people. What on earth would ordinary people want with computers?

Factual error: At the start of the film Woz is starting to build an Apple 1 computer. Onscreen caption dates it at 1971. He is wearing an LCD digital watch - this would be far too early.


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