Bobbie Markowe: I think there's something in the water that turns us into house fraus.
Joanna Eberhart: If I am wrong, I'm insane... but if I'm right, it's even worse than if I was wrong.
Patricia Cornell: Oh, Frank you're the best, you're the champ, you're the master....
Bobbie Markowe: I'm also an ex-Gothamite, who's been living here in Ajax country for just over a month now, and I'm going crazy. You see doctor, my problem is that given complete freedom of choice, I don't want to squeeze the goddamn Charmin.
Charmaine Wimperis: I don't think that, uh, Ed ever loved me. I mean, uh, he married me because I looked right and it made a big impression on the other TV executives for his wife to look like I look. God knows he's given me things, I... I'm not complaining on that score, but... uh... he never loved me.
Bobbie Markowe: Two things I always carry: Tampax and Ring Dings. And I don't even wanna think what that means.
Bobbie Markowe: If you're going to tell me you don't like this dress, I'm sticking my head right in the oven.
Joanna Eberhart: What do you think they do up there?
Bobbie Markowe: Watch dirty movies and reminisce about the Good Old Days.
Joanna Eberhart: What Good Old Days?
Bobbie Markowe: Like those Good Old Days when "Playboy" used the airbrush.
Joanna Eberhart: Why do they call you Diz?
Dale Coba: Because I used to work at Disneyland.
Joanna Eberhart: No, really.
Dale Coba: That's really. Don't you believe me?
Joanna Eberhart: No.
Dale Coba: Why not?
Joanna Eberhart: You don't look like someone who enjoys making other people happy.
Bobbie Markowe: I think there's something in the water that turns us into house-fraus.
Carol Van Sant: I'll just die if I don't get this recipe. I'll just die if I don't get this recipe. I'll just die if I don't get this recipe.
Joanna Eberhart: This is not me and what you're saying isn't you.
Mary Ann Stavros: I'm sorry. I just can't waste my spare moments on something like that.
Joanna Eberhart: But you do go out sometimes don't you?
Mary Ann Stavros: Go out? Of course I go out. I'm out now, aren't I?
Dale Coba: It's nothing like you imagine, just a, another stage. Think about it like that, and there's nothing to it.
Joanna Eberhart: Why?
Dale Coba: Why? Because we can.
