Father of the Groom: Now now, let's not bicker and argue about who killed who, this is supposed to be a happy occasion!
Rooster Cogburn: Say, uh, there's one thing I would like to get straight.
Rooster Cogburn: We both know that the Lord brands lyin' a sin. You think He'll still smile on you after them whoppers you told in there?
Eula: And if thy words stray from the truth for the good of God's own, if thy intent be pure, thou shall not then be judged sinful.
Rooster Cogburn: Beautiful quotation. What book? What chapter?
Eula: I will confess, Reuben, it is of my own invention, I just made it up.
The Duke: Within a budding grove, the girls think but of love. Hear the radio, drinking tea and to hell with being free. They've no idea the bourgeoisie has never hesitated to kill its children.
Blood: A cautous young fellow named Lodge / Had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?
The Pinball Wizard: Ever since I was a young boy, I've played the silver ball. From SoHo down to Brighton, I must have played them all. But I ain't seen nothin' like him In any amusement hall. That deaf, dumb and blind kid Sure plays a mean pinball.
Store Clerk: Well, sir, a covered wagon pulling outta St. Joe didn't take near as much supplies as you got yourself here, Mr. O'Day.
Jason O'Day: You're sure one well-informed man, aren't ya? Now, did you think you can hand me that carton without straining yourself, or are you just tuckered out from sticking your nose in my affairs?