Fred Madison: Dick Laurent is dead.
Ed: Fucker gets more pussy than a toilet seat.
Lou: What a fucking job.
Hank: His or ours, Lou?
Lou: Ours, Hank.
Mr. Eddy: You and me, mister... We can really out-ugly them sum'bitches... Can't we?
Guard Johnny Mack: Captain Luneau?
Captain Luneau: Yeah, Mack?
Guard Johnny Mack: Captain, this is some spooky shit we got here.
Mystery Man: We've met before, haven't we.
Fred Madison: I don't think so. Where was it you think we met?
Mystery Man: At your house. Don't you remember?
Fred Madison: No. No, I don't. Are you sure?
Mystery Man: Of course. As a matter of fact, I'm there right now.
Fred Madison: What do you mean? You're where right now?
Mystery Man: At your house.
Fred Madison: That's fucking crazy, man.
Mystery Man: Call me. Dial your number. Go ahead.
Mr. Eddy: Boy, that's smooth. Smooth as shit off a duck's ass.