Guido: Have you learned your lesson yet, puke?
Hawk: If the lesson is you're a dick with ears and a really bad haircut, I'd say yeah. I've learned my lesson.
Hawk: How's it hanging, Padre?
Father Phillip McNulty: Whoa, I just heard you talking through my nose. Is it possible my nose has ear drums?.. Nose drums.
Hawk: Will you guys quit the mom-bashing? I mean, look, look, Lex's mom is cool because she lets us spend the night, and if it wasn't for your mom, Trip, we wouldn't have smoked that fine Panama Red last night! So, leave the women who gave you life out of it, they're both cool in my book.
Lex: Hey, thanks for letting us use your make-up supply. You must have the entire Revlon factory in your purse, you greasy disco ball.
Chongo: This guy giving you shit, bro?
Little Kid: Yeah, he was going to mug me for my kiss ticket.
Trip: What! That's insane, I said "Hey, little kid, you know where I could take a piss?"
Hawk: Yeah, we're here to take out friend Jam here to the big, satanic kiss concert, if that's okay with you.
Father Phillip McNulty: Satan? Satan? Santa. They're the same letters... they're the same guy.