Vince Ricardo: Sometimes I'm so smart I scare myself.
Tommy: Dad and his mysterious phone calls.
Vince Ricardo: What the hell do you mean by that?
Tommy: Nothing. You're just always making these weird calls in back rooms and pay booths.
Vince Ricardo: You little snot-nose! Those phone calls put you through college.
Sheldon: There's no reason to shoot at me, I'm a dentist.
Vince Ricardo: I was in the jungle - the bush we called it - for approximately nine months.
Sheldon: Nine months! That must have really been something.
Vince Ricardo: It was. I saw things... They have tsetse flies down there the size of eagles.
Sheldon: I've only had four women in my life. Two of them, my wife.
Vince Ricardo: Serpentine Shelly. Serpentine.
General Garcia: We have no blindfolds senor, we are a poor country.
Sheldon: The ocean? It's over the ocean to Scranton, Pennsylvania?
Vince Ricardo: Just go with the flow, Shel, just go with the flow.
Sheldon: What flow? There isn't any flow.
General Garcia: I am a pacifist by nature with a deep Quaker belief in the sanctity of human life. I wish I had a choice but to kill you.
Sheldon: I have flames on my car. I have flames on MY CAR.
Sheldon: Is he dead?
Vince Ricardo: If he's alive, he's putting on a hell of an act, ain't he?
Vince Ricardo: What do you think will happen when they run off this dough... and there's trillions of extra dollars, francs, and marks floating around? You've got a collapse of confidence in the currency. People are gonna panic. There's gonna be gold riots, atonal music... political chaos, mass suicide. Right? It's Germany before Hitler. You can see that. Jesus, I don't know what people are gonna do... when a six-pack of Budweisers costs $1,200. That'll be awful.
Sheldon: Please God, don't let me die on West 31st Street.
