Mad Hatter: What's the matter my dear, don't you care for tea?
Alice: Why, yes. I'm very fond of tea.
March Hare: If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation.
Alice: In my world, the books would be nothing but pictures.
Alice: Oh, pooh. I'm not afraid of you. Why, you're nothing but a pack of cards.
Queen of Hearts: Who's been painting my roses red? WHO'S been painting MY roses RED? /Who dares to taint / With vulgar paint / The royal flower bed? / For painting my roses red / Someone will lose his head.
Card Painter: Oh no, Your Majesty, please! It's all his fault.
Card Painter: Not me, your grace! The ace, the ace.
Queen of Hearts: You?
Card Painter: No, two.
Queen of Hearts: The deuce, you say?
Card Painter: Not me! The three.
Queen of Hearts: That's enough! Off with their heads.
Alice: Curiouser and curiouser.
Alice: Curiosity often leads to trouble.
Dodo: I say, you'll never get dry that way.
Alice: Get dry?
Dodo: Have to run with the others. First rule of a caucus race, you know.
Caterpillar: Recite.
Alice: Oh. Yes sir. How doth the little bumblebee improve each.
Caterpillar: Stop. That is not spoken correctically. It goes: How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale. How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws. And welcomes little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws.
Alice: Well, I must say, I've never heard it that way before.
Caterpillar: I know. I have improoooved it.
March Hare: I have an excellent idea, lets change THE subject.
Dodo: Ahoy, and other nautical expressions.
White Rabbit: We need a lazard with a liddle... a lad... can you help us?
Bill: At your service, gov'nor.
Dodo: Bill, my lad. Have you ever been down a chimney?
Bill: Why, gov'nor, I've been down more chimneys.
Dodo: Excellent, excellent. Now just hop down the chimney and pull that monster out of there.
Bill: Righto, gov'nor... Monster? Aaaaah.
Mad Hatter: Clean cup, clean cup! Move down.
Queen of Hearts: And who is this?
King of Hearts: Let me see, my dear. It's certainly not a heart. Do you suppose it's a club?
Queen of Hearts: Off with their heads.
Mad Hatter: No wonder you're late. Why, this watch is exactly two days slow.
Alice: I'm sorry I interrupted your birthday party. Thank you.
March Hare: Birthday? My dear child, this is not a birthday party.
Mad Hatter: Of course not. This is an unbirthday party.
Doorknob: Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
Daisy: What kind of a garden do you come from?
Alice: Oh, I don't come from any garden.
Daisy: Do you suppose she's a wildflower?
Alice: Oh dear, everything is so confusing.
Caterpillar: It is not.
Alice: Well, it is to me.
Caterpillar: Why?
Alice: Well, I can't remember things like I used to, and.
Caterpillar: Recite.
Chosen answer: There is no real answer. It is intended to be left unknown. See http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_266.html for The Straight Dope's answer.
Guy