Chuck Cedar: He's gonna get 100 grand for that picture, it'll be all over the news in an hour.
Longfellow Deeds: Well, he deserves it with those James Bond moves he just pulled.
Chuck Cedar: No, he deserves to get his throat cut. Filthy spy.
Babe, aka "Pam Dawson": Oh, you have got to be shittin' me.
Longfellow Deeds: Whoa... that's the first time I've heard you curse.
Babe: I'm that excited.
Chuck Cedar: We're looking for somebody. Longfellow Deeds.
Murph: Wow! Is that's Deeds' first name?
Cecil Anderson: Well, if the Deeds you're referring to is Longfellow Deeds, then yes, that is Deeds' first name.
Murph: Well, I don't know Deeds' first name, maybe it's Greg.
Cecil Anderson: Maybe it's Longfellow.
Murph: Maybe. But I don't know. I know another guy named Greg. You want me to call him up?
Chuck Cedar: No! Thank you. Please. Just tell us where Deeds lives.
Longfellow Deeds: I bet if we ran into the sixth grade version of ourselves, they'd give us wet willies and put bubble gum in our hair for even thinking about doing this.
Shareholder: He's right! I would've beaten my greedy ass red.
Shareholder: I would've thrown myself off the merry-go-round.
Shareholder: I would've duct tape myself naked to a chair and burnt myself with lit cigarettes.
Longfellow Deeds: Did anyone dream of becoming a psychiatrist? Just kidding.