Alfred Beidermeyer: Ucla. My Cardigan-Sweater period.
Alfred Beidermeyer: Don't be a poet, be a TV repairman.
Vada: Shelly's already told me all about about sex.
Harry Sultenfuss: She told me too. I mean, she told me she told you about sex. I - I personally knew about sex long before I met Shelly.
Vada: I figured you did.
Vada: If I get married, I'll never change my name.
Nick: Why? You think the guy should change his name?
Vada: I don't think anybody should change their names, that way you can't find them when you need them.
Nick: What if you don't want to be found?
Vada: Why do you argue with everything I say?
Nick: Who are you? Hitler's hall monitor?
Kevin: Vada, if bullshit wore a bra, you'd be top heavy.
Hary Sultenfuss: Hey, you're not eating your meatloaf.
Shelly DeVoto Sultenfuss: If I eat it I'll throw up.
Hary Sultenfuss: Well you should at least try a little bit.
Shelly DeVoto Sultenfuss: Then I'll throw up a little bit.