Will: Once you open your door to one person anyone can come in.
Christine: You will end up childless and alone.
Will: Well, fingers crossed, yeah.
Christine: Oh, no... it's just I thought you had hidden depths.
Will: No, no, you've always had that wrong about me. I really am this shallow.
Will: This crying in the morning thing, this depression, let's get that fixed.
Will: The thing is, a person's life is like a TV show. I was the star of The Will Show. And The Will Show wasn't an ensemble drama. Guests came and went, but I was the regular. It came down to me and me alone. If Marcus' mum couldn't manage her own show, if her ratings were falling, it was sad, but that was her problem. Ultimately, the whole single mum plotline was a bit complicated for me.
Marcus: You don't give a shit about anyone and no-one gives a shit about you.
Marcus: I wanna be with her more, I wanna be with her all the time, and I wanna tell her things I don't even tell you or mum. And I don't want her to have another boyfriend. I suppose if I could have all those things, I wouldn't really mind if I touched her or not.
Will: How do I look?
Marcus: Good. How do I look?
Will: Just... just be as normal as you can, all right?
Marcus: I used to want Will to marry my mom.
Ali: You serious?
Marcus: Yeah, but that was when she was depressed and I was desperate.
Will: Thanks, mate.
Rachel: Will, how do you use this blender thing?
Will: You don't.
Will: I was in some strange territory. Was I frightened? I was petrified.
Marcus: After a few visits, Will seemed to think he had to ask me serious questions, when I knew he really wanted to watch Xena Warrior princess.
Will: Me, I didn't mean anything. About anything, to anyone. And I knew that guaranteed me a long, depression-free life.
Fiona: He's expressing himself.
Will: No, he's not! He's expressing you.
Mr. Chalmers, the M.C.: That was Def Penalty Kru, with "Murder for Life."
Lindsey's Mum: Are we having duck? Delicious.
Fiona: I can understand why you're angry, Marcus. But I don't feel the same as I did yesterday, if it's any help.
Marcus: What? It's all gone away? All that?
Fiona: No, but, for the moment, I feel better.
Marcus: The moment's no good for me. I can see you feel better at the moment. You just put the kettle on. What happens when you finish your tea? What happens when I go back to school? I can't be here to watch you all the time.
Marcus: I got the letter. Thanks.
Fiona: Oh my God. I'd forgotten.
Marcus: You forgot? You forgot a suicide letter?
Fiona: Well I didn't think I'd have to remember it, did I? Did you read the part where I said I'd always love you?
Marcus: It's a bit hard for you to love me when you're dead, isn't it?
Will: All men are islands. And what's more, this is the time to be one. This is an island age. A hundred years ago, for example, you had to depend on other people. No one had TV or CDs or DVDs or home espresso makers. As a matter of fact they didn't have anything cool. Whereas now you can make yourself a little island paradise. With the right supplies, and more importantly the right attitude, you can become sun-drenched, tropical, a magnet for young Swedish tourists.
Rachel: Allie finds all this rather difficult.
Will: Well yeah, so does Marcus. Don't ya mate, divorced parents and not knowing how to feel about new people.
Marcus: Absolutely. That's absolutely the way I feel.