Fred: I am a loner, a crazy wide eyed loner on a doomed mission to Venus to battle with the 3 headed mega beast but on the way I caught cornflakes disease.
Young Elizabeth: Daddy, why don't we throw mommy out the window? It won't hurt her. She'll land in the gladiolas.
Nigel: You shouldn't say things like that about your mother... She might cut your head off.
Fred: Look, you've got you now. You don't need me.
Fred: Drown the fishes.
Fred: Well why don't we harpoon Charles straight through the head, drag him back to the apartment, and hit him with a hammer until he agrees to come back?
Elizabeth: Harpoon him through the head. That won't work Fred.
Fred: Why not? How many times have you tried it?
Fred: You just put a piece of broccoli in your mouth and said, "Mm, what a lovely piece of broccoli."
Fred: I wrote the note. Hahahahaha! Haven't got a husband! Haven't got a husband! Got a stupid hair cut.
Young Elizabeth: Maybe Mommy's right. I never do anything right.
Fred: No! You're great. She's not.
Fred: It takes more than a fire truck to stop Drop Dead Fred.
Fred: Snotface, look... INK - let's write something on the carpet... I know how 'bout "Mother sucks."
Fred: I can't believe we left the party so soon. And there was so much wine to spit around the place.
Elizabeth: I got upset.
Fred: "I got upset." God, you're so stupid. You never leave a party 'til the very very end.
Elizabeth: Oh really?
Fred: Yeah really.
Elizabeth: Well what about Cinderella? Remember what happened with her?
Fred: No I don't remember what happened with her. I deliberately forgot all about her. She made me puke. I remember the ugly stepsisters, they were great.
Elizabeth: Mother, do you remember when I was little, I had a friend, he was make-believe?
Elizabeth: Don't you remember? Only I could see him?
Polly: No, I don't remember Drop Dead Fred at all.
Fred: Just kiss me, and say Drop Dead Fred... now.