Mary Maceachran: What do I do with her Ladyship's jewels?
Elsie (Head Housemaid): This way. George is in charge of the safe, he's the first footman and you want to watch where he puts his hands.
Constance, Countess of Trentham: Are any of the others getting up for breakfast? The women, I mean.
Mary Maceachran: I think Lady Lavinia may be.
Constance, Countess of Trentham: That settles it. Come back at half past eight. I'll get dressed. It's the greatest bore, of course, but I don't want to miss anything.
Lavinia Meredith: It makes you sound desperate.
Anthony Meredith: Well, I AM fucking desperate.
Barnes: Short arse.
Constance: Do you think he'll be as long as he usually is?
Constance: Mary, I don't think I'll wear that shirt after all. The other one's warmer, that's all I care about.
Raymond Stockbridge: Well, I think it's ridiculous. I'm here to shoot.
Louisa Stockbridge: Darling, it's a relief for me to sit next someone who isn't deaf in one ear.
Raymond Stockbridge: I'm sorry?
Lewis: You should know to pack your woollies when you come to this house.
Inspector Thompson: Well, you see, this is why we have rules and regulations, isn't it?
Arthur: George has had his revenge on Mr. Denton - hot coffee in the lap.
Mrs. Croft: He was a hard-hearted randy old sod.
Constance, Countess of Trentham: Could we possibly get on before I freeze to death?.
Lady Sylvia McCordle: What are you wearing?
Isobel McCordle: Don't you like it? You bought it.
Lady Sylvia McCordle: Did I? How extraordinary of me.
Mary Maceachran: Mr. Parks.
Robert Parks: Robert.
Mary Maceachran: Robert. When you said you'd surprise me, you didn't mean anything by it, did you?
Robert Parks: Why? Don't you like surprises?
Mr. Jennings: Mr. Meredith.
Barnes: Hmm?
Mr. Jennings: You haven't seen Commander Meredith anywhere, have you?
Barnes: No.
Mr. Jennings: He never came downstairs and he's not in his room.
Barnes: Mr. Jennings, I've washed him and dressed him. If he can't find his way to the drawing room, it isn't my fault.
Constable Dexter: Sir, someone's traipsed a load of mud in down here.
Inspector Thompson: Not now, Dexter, please.
Lady Sylvia McCordle: Oh, don't worry about him. He's just an American staying with us.
Henry Denton: You Brits really don't have a sense of humor do you?
Elsie (Head Housemaid): We do if something's funny, sir.
Mary Maceachran: What will Lady Sylvia do now?
Lewis: If I were her, I'd set up in London as a glamorous widow with all the gentlemen chasin' me for my money.
Constance, Countess of Trentham: He's still got that vile little dog, I see.
Lady Sylvia McCordle: Yes, the ones we hate last forever.
