Waiting for Guffman
Movie Quote Quiz

Ron Albertson: We consider ourselves bi-costal if you consider the Mississippi River one of the coasts.

Mrs. Pearl: We don't associate with the creative types. We have a Scrabble club. We associate with people with babies.

Ron Albertson: You know, in China they'll kill a monkey at the table and split its head open and eat the brains right out of it.

Steve Stark, Councilman: He can act and he can sing and he can dance. There's only one other person in the world who can do all that, and that's Barbra Streisand.

Libby Mae Brown: My aunt brought out her atlas that I look at a lot. This big blue book and opened up to New York and it's an island, is really what it is. It's this island full of people of different colors and different ideas and I can't - It sounds like a lot of fun to me. You know, we don't see much of that in Blaine. I'd like to maybe meet some guys, some Italian guys, you know... watch TV and stuff.

Sheila: He's teaching me to change my instincts... or at least ignore them.

Ron Albertson: Some people find it ironical that although we run a travel agency, we've never been outside of Blaine.

Corky St. Clair: Here's the Remains of the Day lunchbox. Kids don't like eating at school, but if they have a Remains of the Day lunchbox they're a lot happier.

Corky St. Clair: It's like in a Hitchcock movie, you know, where they tie you up in a rubber bag and throw you in the trunk of a car. You find people.

Libby Mae Brown: I been workin' here at the D.Q. for about, um... eight months? Seven? I don't know, somethin' like that, it's fun. Just do the cones... make sundaes, make Blizzards, 'n... put stuff on 'em, 'n... see a lot of people come in, a lot of people come to the D.Q... burgers... ice cream... anything, you know? Cokes... just drive in and get a Coke, if you're thirsty.

Clifford Wooley: I had a... hankerin' to be an actor when I was a young feller when I got out of the Coast Guard, but I... I went to taxidermy school instead... well, I took a correspondence course.

Dr. Pearl: People say, You must have been the class clown. And I say, No, I wasn't. But I sat next to the class clown, and I studied him.

Corky St. Clair: ...'cause you people are bastard people.

Glenn Welsch: Blaine is the stool capital of the world.

Gwen Fabin-Blunt - Councilwoman: Being a Fabin is not always easy. Umm, I can certainly understand how the Kennedys feel.

Corky St. Clair: People don't like to have fire poked, poked in their noses.

Dr. Pearl: I'm walking on air... you know... this is a sensation which is... forget it. When I became a dentist, I thought I was happy, but this.

Libby Mae Brown: What New York really is, is it's an island, with lots of people, lots of different people... I hope to maybe meet some guys, some Italian guys, and maybe watch some TV.

Corky St. Clair: What the city council did was really... give me a challenge, and it's a challenge that I am going to... accept. It's like in the olden days, in the... days of France, when men would slap each other with their gloves... say, y'know... "D'Artagnan! " y'know, "how dare you talk to me like that, you!," and... smack 'em.

Ron Albertson: If there's an empty space, just fill it with a line, that's what I like to do. Even if it's from another show.

Factual error: Although the movie supposedly takes place in Blaine, Missouri, you can see Texas flags in certain shots. The movie was filmed in Texas.

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