Ron Albertson: If there's an empty space, just fill it with a line, that's what I like to do. Even if it's from another show.
Corky St. Clair: ...'cause you people are bastard people.
Corky St. Clair: Well, then, I just hate you... and I hate your... ass... face.
Corky St. Clair: People don't like to have fire poked, poked in their noses.
Ron Albertson: You know, in China they'll kill a monkey at the table and split its head open and eat the brains right out of it.
Corky St. Clair: What the city council did was really... give me a challenge, and it's a challenge that I am going to... accept. It's like in the olden days, in the... days of France, when men would slap each other with their gloves... say, y'know... "D'Artagnan! " y'know, "how dare you talk to me like that, you!," and... smack 'em.
Sheila: He's teaching me to change my instincts... or at least ignore them.
Libby Mae Brown: I'll always have a place at the Dairy Queen.
Corky St. Clair: It's like in a Hitchcock movie, you know, where they tie you up in a rubber bag and throw you in the trunk of a car. You find people.
Mrs. Pearl: We don't associate with the creative types. We have a Scrabble club. We associate with people with babies.
Dr. Pearl: People say, You must have been the class clown. And I say, No, I wasn't. But I sat next to the class clown, and I studied him.
Libby Mae Brown: My aunt brought out her atlas that I look at a lot. This big blue book and opened up to New York and it's an island, is really what it is. It's this island full of people of different colors and different ideas and I can't - It sounds like a lot of fun to me. You know, we don't see much of that in Blaine. I'd like to maybe meet some guys, some Italian guys, you know... watch TV and stuff.
Gwen Fabin-Blunt - Councilwoman: Being a Fabin is not always easy. Umm, I can certainly understand how the Kennedys feel.
Corky St. Clair: Here's the Remains of the Day lunchbox. Kids don't like eating at school, but if they have a Remains of the Day lunchbox they're a lot happier.
Libby Mae Brown: What New York really is, is it's an island, with lots of people, lots of different people... I hope to maybe meet some guys, some Italian guys, and maybe watch some TV.
Ron Albertson: We consider ourselves bi-costal if you consider the Mississippi River one of the coasts.
Clifford Wooley: I had a... hankerin' to be an actor when I was a young feller when I got out of the Coast Guard, but I... I went to taxidermy school instead... well, I took a correspondence course.
Steve Stark, Councilman: He can act and he can sing and he can dance. There's only one other person in the world who can do all that, and that's Barbra Streisand.
Glenn Welsch: Blaine is the stool capital of the world.
Ron Albertson: Some people find it ironical that although we run a travel agency, we've never been outside of Blaine.