Art Wiengartner: Go ahead, tell him, Ray. We got the goods on them, don't we? You know, some day they're going to dig up the back of that yard and they're gonna find the rest of that skeleton to go with that femur. Oh it might not be Walter but it's gonna be some.
Ray Peterson: Shut up. shut UP, ART, shut UP! God, you don't know when to quit, do you? Look at me! I'm a shell of a man because of you, Art.
Art: Hey, hey, hey. Who the heck ordered the blood shake? Hey, Ray, it's not Skip. It's me, Art. I'm just pretending to be Skip. Say, you didn't happen to see an ice pick around here, did you?
Art Wiengartner: I don't know if you've noticed, but there's bars on the basement windows here.
Ray Peterson: They've got holes in their porch, too.
Art Wiengartner: Argh! That was a booby trap.
Ray Peterson: Are you okay?
Art Wiengartner: Yeah.
Ray Peterson: Oh, booby trap. I'm not gonna pay for that.
Art Wiengartner: We shouldn't pay for that, we should sue them.
Mark Rumsfield: Rumsfield's the name. Don't think I caught yours, sonny?
Hans Klopek: H-H-Hans.
Mark Rumsfield: Hans! Oh-ho! A fine Christian name. Hans Christian Andersen! What are you, Catholic?
Art: Safety is my middle name.
Ray Peterson: I thought his middle name was Louis.
Ray Peterson: I'm a broken man because of you, Art.
Art: I think the message to, uh, psychos, fanatics, murderers, nutcases all over the world is, uh, "do not mess with suburbanites." Because, uh, frankly we're just not gonna take it any more. Ya know, we're not gonna be content to look after our lawns and wax our cars, paint out houses. We're out to get them, Don, we are out to get them.
Ricky Butler: Green sky at morning, neighbor take warning.
Ray Peterson: Green sky at night?
Ricky Butler: Neighbor take flight?
Art: Apparently their last house, it only... burned to the ground.
Ray Peterson: Really?
Art: Yeah, a hideous raging inferno.
Mr. Rumsfield: Affirmative. That garbage is going nowhere. I say we wait till first light. Scope me.
Ray Peterson: I'm gonna go do something productive. I'm gonna go watch television.
Answer: It's unlikely he could have survived in real life, or if he did, he'd be far more injured and/or permanently maimed, but this is a comedy movie, and reality is often ignored.
raywest ★