Steve Dodds: [After hitting Drake with his car] Oh! Oh! Buddy, are you ok?
Drake Sabitch: I'm not that far from dragging you out of the car and beating you to dust.
Steve: You should work up to that. Kinda leaves you nowhere to go.
Drake: I can go to your mamma's and start small fire in her panties. Now, are you ready to get out of the car?
[Chris Farley gets his tie stuck in the trunk of the old couple.]
Old man: He must be hopped up on crack cocaine!
Governor Tracy: Now you'll have to tell me your name so I know who to make the check out to.
Clyde: My best friends call me Cash.
Mike: We've all been screwed by Governor Tracy, and now, I'm going to screw her.
Mike: Horse shit.
Mike: And so he says, "Rectum? Damn near killed'em!"