Bob Wiley: You ever hear of Tourette's syndrome? Involuntarily shouting profanity?
Dr. Leo Marvin: It's exceptionally rare.
Bob Wiley: Shit-eating son-of-a-bitch! Bastard, douche-bag, twat, numb-nuts, dickhead, bitch.
Dr. Leo Marvin: Why exactly are you doing this?
Bob Wiley: If I fake it, then I don't have it.
Bob Wiley: Baby step to four o'clock. Baby step to four o'clock.
Bob Wiley: Excuse me, Phil, but with these particular symptoms, is Prozac the right choice?
Lily Marvin: You think Prozac is a mistake?
Bob Wiley: Well, with this kind of manic episode, I would think Librium might be a more effective management tool.
Phil: You could be right. I'll rewrite the prescription.
Dr. Leo Marvin: On Wednesday we'll eat Gil... on Thursday we'll eat Bob! Ha ha ha, no no no, that's going too far.
Siggy: I mean, my Dad just dropped me in the water, without warning me first. I mean, I nearly drowned! My whole life flashed before my eyes.
Bob Wiley: Wow, you're lucky you're only twelve.
Siggy: It was still grim.
Dr. Leo Marvin: You understand, don't you? There's no other solution. You won't go away.
Bob Wiley: I will.
Dr. Leo Marvin: No, you won't. You're just saying you will! But then, after I don't kill you, you'll show up again. And you'll do something else to make everyone in my life think you are wonderful and I'm a schmuck. But I'm not a schmuck, Bob, and I'm not going to let you breeze into town and take my family away from me, just because you're crazy enough to be fun.
Bob Wiley: What if I'm looking for a bathroom, I can't find one, and my bladder explodes?
Mr. Guttman: Hello, Dr. Marvin. The house looks good.
Mrs. Guttman: Burn in hell, Dr. Marvin.