Marilyn Munster: Uncle Cavanaugh? I didn't know there were any English Munsters.
Grandpa Munster: Marilyn dear, no matter where you go in the world, you can always dig up one of our relatives.
Freddie Munster: Let's bash him on the head with something jagged.
Eddie Munster: I hope those guys didn't bring any more to-mah-tos.
Millie: What's the matter with you two blokes? I've seen zombies at the flickers looking 'appier than you two.
Herman: "Car 54, Where Are You?" - when finally discovering the secret of Munster Hall.
Freddie Munster: By the way, where's my darling mumsy?
Grace: I don't know. I don't understand her missing this, she so enjoys a good killing.
Grace: Mumsy, Freddy is bashing his head against the wall and if he opens a vein it will ruin the drapes.
Freddie Munster: Let's bash him on the cranium with something jagged.
Lady Effigie Munster: Really children. Last night couldn't have been more badly bungled if I had given it to Parliament to do.
Grandpa Munster: Herman, I must ask Freddie where he gets his slime. It looks imported.