Nancy: What does that tattoo mean?
Kurt: It was given to me in juvie. I was caught stealing cherries. I'm a... I'm a cherry thief.
Vicki Summers: I can't believe we're just gonna casually watch someone get murdered. What is this, Detroit?
Trailer Voice-Over: They won't be singing Kumbaya... they'll be screaming Kumba-no.
Blake: So wait, is new wave real?
Gertie Michaels: Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Blake: But I'M not real?
Gertie Michaels: You're only real in the movie. So yeah, you're real here.
Blake: Oh, cool.
Nancy: You were right about one thing, you know?
Max Cartwright: What?
Nancy: I'm a movie star.
Kurt: By the way, what's with you and Max? Are you guys having sex? Because if not, I wouldn't mind bench pressing her with my dumbbell.
Chris Briggs: Listen, brah, you're not bench pressing anyone with your dumbbell! If I so much as hear your dumbbell took a Pilates class.
Kurt: What?
Chris Briggs: I'm gonna cut it off.
Vicki Summers: Nancy, you can't be the final girl. It's not in your DNA, or whatever. You're the shy girl with the clipboard and the guitar. You get laid and then you die. You're just part of the body count. No offense.
Duncan: If this is a dream, then there's a very strong chance that my dad's gonna come up to us naked and offer us some pecan pie. But don't take any. It is not pecan pie.
Kurt: Oh, what's up, funbags?
Vicki Summers: Funbags? Right. Yay, feminism.
Vicki Summers: I am glad that you die.
Kurt: What?
Duncan: Nothing! What she meant to say was that we all die eventually. Technically, we start dying the moment we're born.
Max Cartwright: You just fucked with the wrong virgin.
Nancy: Paula, you're just in time to start setting up for the slumber party.
Kurt: Yeah, we took a vote and you get to share my sleeping bag.
Paula: Thanks, Kurt, but I'm saving myself for someone who doesn't have a needle dick.
Kurt: Yeah, right. It's like a hammer... dick, if anything. It's a sledgehammer.
Gertie Michaels: Hey, just keep on keepin' on.
Max Cartwright: What does that even mean?
Gertie Michaels: It's something my therapist tells me all the time.
Max Cartwright: You have a therapist?
Gertie Michaels: Mmm-hmm.
Max Cartwright: Does it help you deal?
Gertie Michaels: No, not really. She's a physical therapist, so.
Max Cartwright: You shouldn't have sex.
Nancy: Why?
Max Cartwright: Because I heard that sex can kill you.
Nancy: I can't believe they're all dead.
Vicki Summers: They were never alive! They weren't real. Neither are you because this is just a movie.
Gertie Michaels: She's probably gonna pee on him just to mark her territory.
Duncan: The Bathematicians were so excited when I told them that Amanda Cartwright's daughter was my sister's best friend.
Gertie Michaels: Stepsister.
Duncan: Why would you say that? That's so hurtful.
Vicki Summers: Tyson wanted to come here tonight and I was like, "Oh my God, no," but here we are. So, you win, Tyson.
Chris Briggs: So, you didn't see my post about it, or anything?
Vicki Summers: No, I don't go on your stupid Twitter. Which, by the way, has lost three more followers today.
Kurt: Hey, where's you guys' suitcases? Because honestly, you're clothes, they're disgusting.
Vicki Summers: Says the guy in the crop top.
Nancy: Am I really gonna die?
Max Cartwright: Yeah.
Nancy: So, I guess I never grow up or fall in love or have kids. I had this dream that when I graduated college, I would meet a guy and we'd have a baby. A girl. And if she ever needed me, I would do anything for her - anything. I would've made a really great mom.
Max Cartwright: The best.
