Scott: Hey, kid, kid... who's in charge here?
Larry the Elf: You are, and I'm not a kid, I have pointy shoes that are older than you... I'm an elf.
Scott Calvin: Who gave you permission to tell Charlie there was no Santa Claus? I think if we're going to destroy our son's delusions, I should be a part of it.
Mr. Whittle: Good God, your weight! What happened?
Scott Calvin: Bee sting. Evidently I'm allergic. It almost killed me. But, the guy at the emergency room said that eventually the swelling will go down. I hope.
Mr. Whittle: You should see a doctor, a shrink, a dietician, anything.
E.L.F.S. Leader: We're your worst nightmare. Elves with attitude.