Samantha Powell: Dammit, Hank. I loved you then and I love you now. I do. I love how you are simultaneously the most selfish and the most generous person I know. I love how you hate a bully while being one. But your constant second-guessing of others, that crystal-ball bullshit? That hyperverbal vocabulary-vomit thing that you do? I disappeared around you, Hank.
Hank Palmer: Say it again.
Samantha Powell: All of it?
Samantha Powell: Whatever had or hadn't happened in the past, I was gonna be the hero of my own story.
Dale Palmer: What line were we in when they were distributing testicles?
Samantha Powell: Yeah, well, it's my bullshit, kindly remove your shoes from it.
C.P. Kennedy: Now, what exactly is our target juror?
Judge Joseph Palmer: Intelligent people who will listen to instructions and follow the evidence.
Hank Palmer: Crackpots. Those I can persuade to swallow their own tongue. Anyone who's seen a Sasquatch. Moon-landing deniers. Those are our people.
Hank Palmer: Dial down the crazy now. Dial it down.
Glen Palmer: Don't pat me. Don't pat me. I'm the big brother here. Don't pat me.
Dwight Dickham: The law is the only thing capable of making people equal.
Lauren Palmer: Daddies don't get lonely. They only marry younger mommies.
Hank Palmer: Well, we'll figure it all out baby.
Lauren Palmer: It happened to Megan. Then it happened to Kaitlyn. I just didn't think it'd happen to me.
Hank Palmer: Me neither.
Hank Palmer: My father is a lot of unpleasant things, but murderer is not one of them.
Doc Morris: Wow, this isn't an act, is it? You really aren't a pleasant person.
Hank Palmer: Right now? I'm a summer breeze. Once I subpoena you, get you on the stand and extract the truth from your ass like tree sap then you'll realise in that moment, correct, I'm not a pleasant person.
Mike Kattan: And how does it feel, Hank? Knowing that every client you represent is guilty?
Hank Palmer: It's fine. Innocent people can't afford me.
Hank Palmer: Shit happens.
Judge Joseph Palmer: Like your marriage.
Judge Joseph Palmer: You and I are finally done.
Hank Palmer: Oh, we're not done.
Hank Palmer: This family's a fucking Picasso painting.
Judge Joseph Palmer: Lisa played hide the pickle with someone else.
Samantha Powell: Stop staring. I know I look good.
Hank Palmer: Everyone wants Atticus Finch until there's a dead hooker in a bathtub. Note: Atticus Finch is the lawyer in "To Kill a Mockingbird."
