Chloe Patterson: Mom says you see them.
Will Atenton: Yeah.
Chloe Patterson: Could you tell them how much I miss them?
Will Atenton: Yeah.
Thadeous: Quests suck!
Title Card: "The battle against the Devil, which is the principal task of Saint Michael the Archangel, is still being fought today, because the Devil is still alive and active in the world." - Pope John Paul II.
Title Card: What follows is inspired by true events.
Sherlock Holmes: Uh, hmm... Right. Where are the wagons?
Madam Simza Heron: The wagon is too slow. Can't you ride?
Dr. John Watson: It's not that he can't ride... How is it you put it, Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: They're dangerous at both ends and... Crafty in the middle. Why would I want anything with a mind of its own bobbing about between my legs?
Danny Greene: Why stick our nose in Vietnam? The English have been doing that to the Irish for the last 2000 years. And by the way, how are we gonna pay for it, huh? Deficit spending, my ass! Next thing you know, we'll be going off the gold standard, this country's going to hell.
Sgt. Major: At fourteen forty six pacific standard time, twelve different locations across the globe were breached in what appears to have been a coordinated attack by an unknown enemy. This is a textbook military invasion. We are the last offensive force on the west coast. We cannot lose Los Angeles.
Eva: Haven't you ever wished you had somebody else around to play with?
Kevin, 6-8 Years: No.
Eva: You might like it.
Kevin, 6-8 Years: What if I don't like it?
Eva: Then you get used to it.
Kevin, 6-8 Years: Just because you're used to something doesn't mean you like it. You're used to me.
Eva: Yes, well, in a few months we're all gonna get used to somebody new.
Rebecca Evans: You're all mine.
Col. Woodrow Dolarhyde: I want that man! You give him to me now, or I'm gonna take him!
Skyler: How'd you come up with that?
Sean: I don't know. Shark Week.
Vincent Brazil: This is my contract.
Roland Flint: It's personal.
Vincent Brazil: If you lose me my fee, that's personal to me.
Blake: What are all these sharks doing here?
Nick: I dunno. Maybe someone put them there.
Will Rodman: At age 3, Caesar has completed puzzles ages 8 and up. He has been displaying cognitive skills that far exceed that of a human counterpart.
Bernie Rose: My partner is a belligerent asshole with his back up against a wall, and now, so am I.
Kozlow: When I'm finished, you'll be responsible for the death of every friend you have on Facebook.
Danny: I'm done with killing.
Agent: Yeah well, maybe killing ain't done with you.