Jay Pritchett: God knows I couldn't love them more, but even the Kennedy's didn't get together this often.
Jeff Winger: Have you learned nothing from your insipid Twilight books? Men are monsters who crave young flesh.
Bobby Cobb: I'm bad at sex. There's a lot of thrashing and thumping, but nothing really gets done. I'm like a broken dishwasher.
Sam Reich: Hey, Sarah, you're here early.
Sarah Schneider: It's 10:30.
Sam Reich: Right on time.
Sarah Schneider: Work starts at 9.
Sam Reich: Impossible, that's when I get up.
Sarah Schneider: Dan, what time does work start?
Dan Gurewitch: 11:45. I came in early to nap.
Sarah Schneider: Wow, that's wrong.
Sam Reich: You know what, there is an easy way to figure this out. Guys, what time does work start?
Patrick Cassels: 10:00?
Jeff Rubin: 11?
Amir Blumenfeld: 3?
Sam Reich: Okay, so 10 plus 11 is 21, plus 3 is 24, divided by 3 is 8:00. Wow, that is early.
Tim the Bear: Arianna. Robert. I walked in on them. They were playing Hide The Salman Rushdie.
Ted Crisp: Don't blame me for how I look, God made me this way, and then he told me where to shop for suits.
Rafi: You spend all your time reading books and looking at numbers and letters like they mean something.
Ruxin: They do. Do you know how to read?
Rafi: I get by, all right?
Ruxin: What do you know?
Rafi: You know, like... red means stop.
Ruxin: Great.
Rafi: Green means go.
Ruxin: Good.
Rafi: Yellow's the other one.