Juniper Lee: You play bass, Dennis. It's a miracle anyone even notices you.
Chef Ramsay: I'm done! You, you, you, you, you fuck off... GET OUT.
Clay: Orel, love gets in the way of the important things in life. Like going to sleep or being left alone.
Mike Rowe: I don't see what can possibly go wrong.
Theme: It used to be my mother and my sister and me, a happy little family, and all right with me. When mom got married, that's when everything changed. Some things were lost, and others were gained. A new school, a new house, so many changes it makes my head spin. Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin. This is life with Derek. This is life with Derek. This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George, Nora, Marti, and Casey. This is life with Derek. Livin' life with Derek.
Huey Freeman: Vision? What do you know about my vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions, and send the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you. Now ask yourself, Are you ready to see that vision?
Grandpa Max Tennyson: Being a hero isn't about letting others know you did the right thing, it's about you knowing you did the right thing.
Ben Tennyson: What were you just doing, reading greeting cards back at the Mega Mart?
Grandpa Max Tennyson: Well... yes.
Kim: Tonight was different. Tonight I was living the dream. I was buying my girlfriend a drink and nothing could stop me.
Valerie Cherish: Instead of the barbeque line I could say, "If I let you have the puppies I'll have to let weird old Mr. Schmidt have a SATAN flag!" See, that's good, because everybody hates Satan.
Vicky: You know, maybe we shouldn't drink while the kids live here.
Dave: Come on, Vicky, we drink because the kids live here.
Mr. Blick: The Kraken ate my tail.
Grace Bridges: If Moses had been a woman, leading the Jews out of Egypt, she'd have stopped to ask for directions. They would've found Israel within a week.
Danny: But I thought you had to pee.
Anne Sorelli: My anger absorbed it. Outside, now.
Nancy Botwin: Foul! Ref, what's the matter with your whistle?
Celia Hodes: Well, technically, Nancy, Ref can't call a foul. Shane was kicked by his own teammates.
Vanessa Dunphy: You're an asshole Mr. Howard. Five minutes from now I won't be yelling but you'll still be an asshole.
Red Lance: You... read all these books?
Voices That Carry: There's much to learn from them.
Red Lance: What good is this knowledge?
Voices That Carry: You have many questions Red Lance, but you have no desire to hear the answers.
Red Lance: And you do not wish to learn.
Voices That Carry: I've told you. The Ghost Dance is only superstition. Spirits can't help our people. Only we can do that for ourselves.
Red Lance: You do not have ears. You will not listen.