Record Company Executive: Your fans are gospel folk, Johnny. They're Christians, and they don't wanna hear you singing to a bunch of murderers and rapists, tryin' to cheer 'em up.
Johnny Cash: Then they ain't Christians.
Simon Green: Why can't black people listen to country music?
Keisha Jones: Why?
Simon Green: Because every time they say "hoe-down" they think their sister got shot.
Pickle Factory boss: Writer huh? Are you sure?
Henry Chinaski: No, I'm not. I'm halfway through a novel.
Pickle Factory boss: What's it about?
Henry Chinaski: Everything.
Pickle Factory boss: It's about... cancer?
Henry Chinaski: Yes.
Pickle Factory boss: How about my wife?
Henry Chinaski: She's in there too.
Ben: Captain Newport, sir, I found oysters. They're as thick as my hands. They're the size of stones sir and there's fish everywhere they're flapping against your legs. We're gonna live like kings.
Jack Twist: God, I wish I knew how to quit you!
Ennis Del Mar: Well, why don't you?
Maitre D': Whats wrong with him?
Elizabeth Masterson: It's a tension pneumothorax.
David Abbott: I think it's a tension nemothax, sir.
Elizabeth Masterson: Pneumothorax.
David Abbott: Nuemathax, sir.
Elizabeth Masterson: Pneumothorax.
David Abbott: Numathurman.
Elizabeth Masterson: Never mind.
David Abbott: Never mind.
Hadley Wolfmeyer: What kind of a dickhead runs away with his secretary? That is lame, take a right, make a left at pathetic.
Hector: What you doin' around here? Looking all homegirl and shit?
Allison: I always dress like this.
Hector: Oh, yeah? Wow! Here I am, trying to look like I got the money, and you're trying to look like ME! Fuckin' white people.
Nola Rice: Men think I may be something special.
Chris Wilton: Are you?
Nola Rice: No one's ever asked for their money back.
Bob: You sure you don't want to come in, we just opened a bottle of wine.
Sarah: Oh I think I'd rather die, but thank you.
Sofia: If you have any objections, kindly go to hell.
Todd Jackson: You tell 'em.
(text written on a cloth above the stage): If it wasn't this... it'd be something else.
Marienne Hotchkiss: Dance is a very powerful drug Mr. Keane. If embraced judiciously, it can exorcise demons, access deep seated emotions and color your life in joyous shades of brilliant magenta that you never knew existed. But, one must shoulder its challenges with intrepid countenance if one is ever to reap its rewards.
Rose Feller: I don't know what's wrong with your girls. My Marcia never uses the word vagina.
Maggie Feller: My Marcia doesn't even have a vagina.
Rose Feller: Oh, My Marcia has a vagina all right, but My Marcia's vagina is made of solid 24 karat gold.
Maggie Feller: My Marcia's vagina is so perfect, it's in a museum.
Adam: I may be damaged goods, but I'm goods none the less.
Frank Beardsley: Don't worry, you'll soon be doing this in your sleep.
Dylan North: I am asleep.
Mameha: I'm wonder why Mrs. Nitta has not adopted Hatsumomo?
Sayuri Nitta: That would be like releasing the tiger from its cage.
Lisa Cramer: You know what else I like?
Jeremy Kraft: Hm?
Lisa Cramer: I think I like Ray Porter.
Jeremy Kraft: Hm. I can't wait to meet him.