Super Nanny - S2-E7
Super Nanny: What's going on here?
Toot: Oh, nothing. Captain Shero was just trying to take my barrette.
Captain Hero: It's pronounced Hero. The S is silent, you hithead.
Dr. Max Hudson: If I start to go crazy can you... take care of me?.. In the back of the head.
Diana Skouris: You won't even see it coming... Dr. Hudson?
Dr. Max Hudson: I just gave you permission to blow my head off. You can call me Max.
Gerry Standing: Will you stop creeping up on me.
Brian Lane: I don't creep, I glide.
FBI Agent Max Canary: If I'm not mistaken, she just cut off your balls, Derek.
Derek Jennings: Just the one, Max. Just the one.
Joey and the Dream Girl (2) - S1-E9
Michael: You're a hot girl. Hot girls get stuff for free.
Joey: Yeah, it's true. It's in the Constitution.
Alex: Look, I know what I am. I'm not a hot girl. I'm cute.
Michael: You're a hot girl that doesn't know she's hot. Joey was telling me about those.
Alex: No, I know hot girls. My sister is one of them.
Michael: "The even hotter sister" – one of four ways a girl doesn't realise she’s hot. Along with "went to a girls' school", "used to be fat", and "is blind."
Joey: You have learned well, young Michael.
Veronica: That guy's too big, that guy's too small, and that guy's... not a guy. Just in desperate need of a stylist.
Donald Trump: It's a little bit like: watch somebody sell their used car and not wash it. You can spend $10 washing the car and get another $200 for the car. And I've seen guys, they're selling cars that are dirty, and I say, "That guy is a loser."
Leon Tyler: We need to cauterize the wound.
Thelma Bates: How do we do that?
Leon Tyler: Well, in star wars they used the light saber.
Keely Teslow: She's in Indonesia.
Phil Diffy: You have your latitude and longitude mixed up. She's next to Kid Rock and Ricki Lake.
Keely Teslow: I know a shortcut through Tiger Woods.
Cooper Day: You gotta stop bein' the bunny and step up to the plate.
Abby Day: That's an absurd sentence.
Cooper Day: Absurd or brilliant?
Ava Gregory: You are not the only one who lost somebody.
Paul: You know, sometimes a guys just gotta set the world on fire, hey Rolfy. I wonder if there's a nice bottle of rubbing alcohol around here, and a match.